Sports and TV

Allow me a moment to sing the praises of the great indoors. In particular, let me address several issues revolving around the most dynamic of duos in the world--Sports and TV.

If you haven't been paying attention, you are currently missing the third best time of the year when it comes to sports and television. In order I would identify the following as the top three annual* televised sports events:

1. The first four days of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament - I save sick days just for this.

2. Bowl week on ESPN - even if the game of football is superior to the game of basketball, the tourney means crucial games from sun-up to sun-down, bowl week is at best three games in a day.

3. NCAA Baseball and Softball World Series

To be fair, this time period is also sweetened by the fact that MLB is in full swing and bringing nightly images of what is best about America (the never-ending quest to outwit steroid screenings). Anyway...

I know what you're thinking. You were okay until I brought in college softball. I stand my ground. First off, they throw faster underhand than I do overhand...no math conversion needed to determine what would be the baseball equivalent. Second, softball players are a different grain of dirt than the rest of us. They play hard all the time and the field is so small that the room for error is next to nil. Also, if you watch consistently, you develop an attachment because of the player interviews and color-person anectdotes. You feel like you got to know them--like they went to your school. You learn who is fastest on the team, who goes by "jilly-bean" and "oreo," and who wants to be a painist when they graduate. They all have nick-names that the announcer is free to use. It's just wholesome sport, still pure. Also, it is a much easier tournament to follow than its baseball counterpart.

The college baseball world series is always great TV--the ping of the bat alone should make us all weep and pledge allegiance. Still, the tourney does require consistently accurate long-division and proficiency with a slide rule in order to know when your team has advanced, been sent home, or just simply put in their time that day. I am not even sure that it simply isn't arbitrary and when they are ready for Cal State Fullerton to move on, they just say so--sorry Harvard, good team, but we want CSF right now.

I should take a brief moment to note that Alabama is in both this year which makes it even more fun to watch. Roll Tide!!!

* Notice that this list is comprised of those events that are annual. We all know that the World Cup is the single greatest televised sports event; however, it is not annual. Even if you don't like soccer, don't know who any talented footballers are, and have never cared, you will find yourself whipped into a jingoistic frenzy cheering against whatever pinko third-world backwater cheats the world throws at our boys.

You kids behave, and watch more TV--it sharpens passive staring skills.