White Flight

What it is frenzied and bedazzeled public. Welcome to the only June 9, 2005 you will ever live--make it a good one (source: Tater).

So today I must gird up my soul and once again conquer my fear of flying. It's not that I am super afraid, and I won't cry or anything, but I just know that big metal things shouldn't be able to remain suspended in air. I never was great at physics, but I can promise you that I am pretty good at repetitive, white-knucled prayer.

I wish there were transporters. I mean, I would even pay penalties in order to use them. For instance, if it meant that every time you transported you were at your destination within 30 seconds but then spent 30 minutes violently sick, I would still do it and all the time too. I would do it in a heartbeat. For one, I hear that vomiting is a great way to lose weight! (Just kidding! The High Cheese in no way supports this. Take care of yourselves.)

Well, I may be one of the largest white men in the sky today, but that don't mean that I ain't got the soul it takes to make it happen. Lay 'em down and smack 'em yak 'em (that's jive for those of you who didn't know). Until we meet again...