Public Service Announcement: Not-So-Safehouses

Hola quesolitos. Just having a wonderful morning and hoping that the same is happening for y'all.

I haven't spoken on this matter in a while, but there are times that a man must do what a man has to do for the greater good.


Location: Camp Manatawny, Showerhouse Restrooms

City: Camp Manatawny, Douglassville, PA

Cleanliness: If cleanliness is next to godliness, although this is at a church camp, this place must be hell's antechamber. There is water that runs from the shower stalls across the floor creating a thin veneere of humidity, water, soap & shampoo leftovers, urine, sweat, and mud. The stink could knock a buzzard off a meat wagon, because campers can't seem to figure out how these flushing toilets work. Every stall is a nightmare. You look in and it's ringworm and cornflakes holding hands in the bowl. Awful.

Supply Level: This is the saving grace, there is plenty of supplies. Surprisingly, there are always paper towels. This could be because an alarmingly small number of people wash their hands, or it could be because someone is on top of it. What must be corrected though is the 220 grit toilet paper with which one could soft-shine a car. By mid-week the chafe is so bad you could almost see the agony in someone's eye as their body lets them know it is time to go again soon.

Structural Fortitude: Everything is wood, nothing is new--this means it is a bit unstrudy all around. Several of the stalls have no door. Although part of me enjoys this because there is nothing so unnerving as walking in a restroom and seeing a guy sitting there in the unprotected stall just looking at you; I believe that this could be remedied and no one would mind.

Capacity: Doorless stalls included, there are six or seven sit-down jobbers that provide more than adequate coverage for the camp. There are no urinals--this is a bad idea, because those same neanderthals who have never heard of flushing, have also never heard of aiming--I swear they are going with their eyes closed.

Graffiti: Plenty. Half of it is really juvenile, but most of it is clean--it is a Christian camp. Most of the time it has to do with calling each stall "The Bank" where "only deposits" are allowed. Worth a small chuckle. Especially as different people make tally marks under deposits to show that they have in fact deposited at this bank. ALso there is occasionally some Christian exhortation to repent or love one another, all of which is most certainly appropriate.

Amenities: Ah, does humidity count? This is by far the most humid restroom I have ever been in. it has its own weather system--even on the days it isn't humid outside, the bathroom is humid. It has to do with the showers. No lie, if you go in there to do the big job, you'll be sweatin' like a baptist preacher in mere seconds. It will be the sweatiest, nastiest, hardest to clean up, dirtiest steamer you have ever taken.

Comments: There is a weird table in the middle of the room though. Don't really know what it's for. Look at the picture and the slogan above. This truly was "an altogether unique experience."

Overall Grade: F. Go elsewhere--I suggest downstairs Garret Hall.


Just serving the greater good. God save the Cheese.