Two Wrongs and I'm Alright

Good Morning! I know that you are jonesing for some more cheese! I know you are craving it. I know that you can't live one more day without it. So I will give you some more cheese. Who loves you?

Okay...okay...I will tell you about it...One time, while my family and I were driving from Atlanta to Houston (why don't we fly more? Notice I alternate between this thought and the fear of flying very often), we were just outside of New Orleans (read: Babel) when we came upon a bunch of sirens and lights on a bridge over a swamp. As we approached we could see a crane moving down then up. As we rolled by at four miles per hour, faces to the glass, I remember seeing with my young eyes a middle-aged white man's limp dead body being hoisted from the swamp waters. No lie.

I also saw in New Orleans (imagine that) a man come running out of a roadside motorcycle bar, only to be followed by a larger man who simply stated, "My money!" (I believe the "where is" was implicit). Upon making this incredible declaration of grammatic genius, he proceded to brandish a medium sized knife and bury it in the stubbier man's shoulder area. We quickly drove away and told no one.

So these are the two heinous crimes that I have witnessed some major parts of--a murder victim found in a roadside swamp, and a man stabbed because of "my money." These were formative for me. Hopefully they will cheer you up as well.

God save the cheese.