Once In a Lifetime Experience

Hola quesolitos! Good morning after thanksgiving--there needs to be a more useful morning after pill that immediately rids you of all calories and fat eaten the day before. That is science i would pay for. Anyway...

So the most incredible woman in the galxy and i went to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We were standing on Broadway between 37-38th aves. Even better, we were front row. Now you never saw us on TV because what we didn't know is that 38th street and below is the silent zone, so that the TV production can film the acts at 34th st. without too much noise coming from the side. This was kind of a bummer, but no big deal--I mean we missed out on music from the Beach Boy without two members (definately no Brian Wilson), the Click Five, the Cheetah girls (me either), Aly & AJ (there is a God), and Brian McKnight (this one I would liked to have heard).

What they don't tell you is that the cold really sinks in by parade time, and then standing in cramped close quarters for an hour and a half waiting on Santa is a recipe only for pain. Then when you try to take some video, some little runt squirms his way into your spot pushing you back and separating himself from his parent whom he then cries and freaks out because he can't see. Way to go, genius. Also, the floats are as weird an idea up close. ALl in all, the ballons are awesome. I like it that every fifth one or so is a complete commerical trying to blend in with other cartoon animals--hey look es Dora the Explorer, and then there's Barney, and look Ronald McDonald. Ronald is not a cartoon character, he is acrushing and crippling economic entity to reckon with. Speaking of Ronald, on the ground in the parade, there are way to many clowns.

Favorite Balloon: Besides Barney whose leg got ripped open (oh athe agony) and the Balloon that got caught in on a light post in Times Square injuring some people (it hit and hurt a lady in a wheelchair--talk about bad karma), I have to go with either Super Grover or Charlie Brown (although the wind blew and something happened because as Charlie went by he went into what looked exactly like a gran mal siezure developing a major twitching down the left side of his body).

Favorite "star" in the Parade: Franco Harris or Marcus Allen. The NFL float was understated but loaded with talent.

Questions still remaining: Who is Rihanna, or the Cheetah Girls?

Will I do it again? Probably not. The walk back to the subway was so packed it would have triggered many agoraphobic and clostrophobic attacks. Imagine two million people in five city blocks all trying to walk on the sidewalk at once--scarring. If you fell, you were lost forever. I knew one thing, I wasn't leaving my wife behind.

Happy Thanksgiving Day, and a car heater never felt so good.

God saved the Cheese and his amazing wife.