S.S.F.F. (Started Second, Finished First; or Started, Stumbled, Farted, Fell...you decide)

Okay, quesolitos, the time has come for me to express my extremem gratitude for your love which has carried this blog to its 260th post. Not bad! I laud your boredom and your conviction--your undying hope--that I may say something worth reading each new day. I laud your persistence when you realize that I have again let you down, but you kept coming back, you kept hope alive. Kudos to y'all.

Well, I began my exercise regimen yesterday.

Aside #1: Now here is when you know that you are out of shape--when you have to exercise in order to do the exercise you really wanted to do in the first place. What I mean is, I would like to start jogging, but first I have to walk quickly (which frankly is not so brisk a pace) instead, until I am able to get back on the jogging thing.

Well, I am walking with my buddy, Steve-O, and as we are discussingg something meaningful and rich like relationships...no wait, we were discussing whether or not one can smell their own swalls. Anyway, we are talking and walking and I tripped (just for the record there was uneven pavement there) and instead of just falling, I tried with my ninja quick reflexes to "outrun the fall." So my knees are churning trying to get under me, but gravity had taken too much a hold on my upper body (which carries the lionshare oof my girth), so the end result is a nasty fall on the paved walking trail. I actually believe I may have broken both the record for the slowest fall and the slowest ever accumulation of road rash. I jacked up my elbow, shoulder, ankle, calf, and foot (somehow? I was wearing shoes I promise!). They're all scraped up and bruised. At the time, it hurt my pride more than anything, seeing as how I fell right by the busy paking lot and smack in front of a ten year old girl on her bike who exclaimed loudly, "Mommy, that fat man just fell."

But I sprang up. I wasn't staying down.

Then later last night, I was walking in the dark through my house and stepped barefoot on a corkscrew. That drew blood.

So goes my health kick. If I keep it up much longer, I will die.

God save the Cheese.