Why my phone is turned off right now.

Hola, children of the cheese. It has been one of those days...

Actually this morning things seemed to be wonderful...Family was in town, we enjoyed a great cup of coffee with some nice small talk. It was picturesque.

Then the phone rang. I had forgotten a morning meeting and was already late to work. So, I threw on a ball cap (sans shower) and refreshed the deodorant (this irks me greatly...I mean, you know you are at that point only masking a true and real and present stink; and you know that this stink will overpower this second coat of stinkblock in about 2 hours max.). I drove like a madman the three blocks to work and ran into the meeting.

All seemed to have quieted down. It was once again a good day.

Then the phone rang. The most wonderful woman in the world and the best mom on earth were remodeling our guest bathroom and had become the wettest women on earth thanks to a busted pipe in the wall that was soon to be threatening the structural integrity of the floor and walls if action was not taken rapidly. I tore home (as quickly as one can tear in a toyota corolla). I located the water main buried in the yard, used the long well wrench and turned the quarter-turn and went in to check the situation. The water continued to gush. I ran out and continued my prodding and turning. Please shut off please shut off. Still gushing. Jesus, if you can hear me, please shut it off. Stop up the waters like you did with the Jordan (when theologians panic...hmmm). Still gushing. All I could think of were the bad words. After panicking and cursing the phone book for not being easy to use I located the number to the water company and called them. "A guy should be there in a few minutes." This was their answer. A few minutes equaled at least 60-100 gallons of water. Finally, Scotty (his name tag) showed up and took out his long well wrench, prodded around and turned the wrench a quarter-turn. He smiled and might as well have flipped me off as a taunt as he exclaimed with every bit of ire and rub-it-in-ness he could muster, "That should do it." He didn't need to call be an idiot verbally, because it had been so clearly communicated without the word being said. A small snicker and he headed towards his truck. As I warn him that I had done this and it was still running, of course, the parade of the world's wettest women came smiling out the door singing Scotty's praises for shutting it off. I told him he could leave. Man...forget Scotty.

Well, I finally headed back to work and resumed my day, hoping it would be okay from here on out.

Then the phone rang. Actually it didn't ring, someone knocked on my door. It was our staff assistant informing me of seveeral small crises that had arisen. I am still figuring these out.

Hope your day is better than mine so far.

God save the cheese.