Separation Anxiety

So the High Cheese is just a little tired of spam with non-sensical subject lines. I mean, it's one thing to spam with a reasonably communicable subject line--"Look at this hot stock!" or "Have you tried viagra?". At least then, you are being honest with the consumer. But enough with the spam subjects like: "RE: Having fishbone paste dream logjam"--what in the world does that even mean? Every guess is that it means something very awful...and they are selling is of course, a rolex--it's probably not real. Oh well...

Good morning, quesolitos.

So the most incredible woman in the universe and I have been having a few issues with the former-most-faithful-hound-in-the-universe, Titus. Titus is good, wanty but good. But lately everytime we leave, even if we have taken him out, the little runt grinds one out on the kitchen floor. Honestly, it could be worse, like on the carpet, but this is simply too much to take. A mistake every now and then is okay, but this is personal.

So we call the vet. She says that he has separation anxiety. Really. Apparently, she says we leave him too often for long periods of time (vacations, etc., not just daily work and stuff). This is a low blow as the vet is also the boarding kennel we use. She was offsides, but what are you going to do, she knows our travel schedule this summer. Jerk.

Anyway, her idea is to give him lots of "special attention, special treats, and special toys" to let him know how much he means to us. And slowly but surely crate train him so that we can leave him in a crate during the day and he won't go on the kitchen floor.

You probably got there before me, but almost immediately I turned to my wife and asked her if I started crapping on the floor everyday would she give me special attention, special treats, and special toys. She said no. Maybe I need to develop separation anxiety. Actually she said she would if my doctor prescribed them for the problem. I can't see the whole thing ending that way, so she said, "no."

Oh well, off to shower my dog with love.