David Stern vs. a Moron vs. The Most Incredible Woman in the Universe

Greetings from el queso alto! For all our sakes I will save the shout-outs for the end of this post. Still I am slowly getting a feel for my devoted readers. Most of you read at work, and therefore most of you don't interact with the cheese on the weekends as frequently as during the week. As a result, the Highest of Cheeses is establishing a new pattern of publication. The Daily post on weekdays (because I know you need your fix), and the one-shot Weekend spectacular sometime on the weekend. There will be no question of the day on weekends. Agreed? I think this is fair.

So the greatest woman in the universe and I happen to be seated in our livingroom recovering from a run and watching Sportscenter (If cable came only with ESPN I would still pay for it). They are showing highlights from the NBA finals game 5, when out of nowhere she comments: "I'm just not buying it. I'm suspicious. They rigged it."

Admittedly, I secretly admired her overall deep-seated suspicion, especially of the NBA. Still for the sake of sports in general I argued that this was untenable. She came back more passionately than I had expected, "The first two games it was like the Spurs vs a high school team!" Foolishly thinking I had found a soft spot in the argument, I responded in that I-know-more-about-sports-than-you man-voice, "But Detroit won the next two just as lopsidedly." I don't even know if lopsidedly is a word. It felt right when I thought it, but oh so stupid when I said it. Fortunately she ignored it (I had dodged a major bullet I thought).

Unwittingly, though, I had played right into her hand (she is smarter than me, but never uses the You-may-watch-more-sports-than-me-or-anyone-with-a-real-life-for-that-matter-but-you-are-actually-a-moron-and-I-am-really-smart voice), "Exactly! Two blowouts followed by two blowouts--all homecourt wins, and now at homecourt it's a nailbiter with overtime? This is not about basketball...this is about money."

I was beaten like a rented mule and I knew it. Still I tried to look like I had a clue as to what I was talking about: "Maybe they finally got a read on each other and it just took a while, you know." [Note to self: ending any sentence in a debate with "you know" and an unsure glance is a sure sign that the death knell will be rung soon.] Anyway, This was flimsy. We both knew it. "All season wasn't long enough?" She said with a genuinely nice smile (am I nice like that when I am right?). I couldn't give up though--obviously I had more invested in this debate than I did in the finals themselves. I went to the almighty dollar in what I thought was a stroke of genius, "If it was fixed, too many rich people would know and the betting lines would be all screwed up and the fix would announce itself, like with the 1919 Black Sox." (Not a bad point, but a lost cause.)

"Who?" She asked. I smirked (I found out that I am not that nice when I am right. Crap. I vow to work on that.).

She then hit me with her trump card, and we both knew it was coming inevitably, "We'll see who wins and you can tell me if it's a fix." You see, she wins either way. Even if the Spurs win, I still lose. If they blow out Detroit in game 6, then game five is a huge abaration and looks like a fix (better to have had seven blowouts than this). If the Spurs win a close game, then she talks about TV shares and ratings driving the flow of the game and keeping it close. On the off chance the Spurs lose, she of course, is right, and I lose.

Either way, this only underlines a simple lesson in life: The most wonderful woman in the world is smarter than I am. She doesn't rub it in though. I love her more each day. By the way, that underlines a major point that all of you should take home with you: I married over my head! So there--I'm not completely hopeless.

Now for the shout-outs: Quesofomage, you rule! Dawn, if you're reading this I should be reading and you know it. Tate, when do we get to see the High Tater at blogspot? And last but not least, gracias Bill Withers for changing my life (if you don't get it, get it, and then you will get it).