Question of the Day

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Question of the Day

Who would win in a fist fight between Coolio and Nelly, no posses included, one on one?

Santeria, Bud Selig, Old Debts, Juice, and Me

Yeah, I know that the southsiders won themselves a World Series. What can I do quesolitos? Baseball is a very intriguing game, a very suspicious game of late. This called me to action to dig a little deeper into the real grimy underworkings of "america's game."

I knew something was wrong, so I went in search of answers. Where first? I could talk to Ozzie Guillen. First off, he has loose lips, we all know that. Second, I could force him to talk by offering a pig to saint Christopher unless he talked to me. Instead, we drank some blood together in honor of Guadalupe. He spoke fast, so I was having to try and remember key phrases and words...something about old debts, and nostalgia. Basically, he hinted that baseball was indeed being orchestrated in such a way that some teams that were losing momentum in the fan box, but were in major markets could indeed win the world series. What did Ozzie care if he told me--first off, he just won the series, he can't miss on an extension; second, he had complete deniability should I leak this stuff; oh yeah, he had a already put a curse on Don Fehr anyway so that if something came out, he would wither into an albino leper.

There had to be something true in this...why would he simply tell me all this. I had to dig deeper.

It didn't take too much time to get into the Commissioners office as cleaning staff--cleaning staff indeed. So I rooted around in Selig's office and there I found it...documented evidence that baseball was indeed predestining champions through the 2010 season already (2006 - Cardinals, 2007 - Houston, 2008 - Cubs, 2009 - Phillies, 2010 - Dodgers). I was in disbelief. The game didn't need another scandal. But then, as I read more, I started to put some things together--it was even deeper and darker than I had imagined.

The league had created its own steroid problem. It had farmed out certain players to be busted using the juice, so that it could create a firestorm and smoke screen for the fixing of championships. No one notices that a team is unbeatable in the first half, plays like the blind school in the second half of the season, gets to the playoffs and waltzes through unscathed as being anything but a cinderella story, especially when there are names like Bonds and Giambi flying around. No one notices a guy who is lights out all year giving up the game winning run in almost every game of the world series because all of a sudden he can't throw anything but a meat ball as anything other than a youngster collapseing under the pressure, especially with names like Palmeiro and McGuire flying around. This Juice scandal was actually created and sustained by MLB in order to give away chapionships and fix the season without being noticed.

But why? Why fix it. It's a great game. Ozzie was right--old debts. You see, what I found out is that baseball has been for sale for a long time. That is how the Yankees got ahead. They had all the money, and kept outbidding other people. But who would agree to bid so much to lose to these high bidders. No one. So baseball began determining intriguing second place finishers by paying them a cut of the win. Problem is, baseball stopped making good on its payments to the losers. Those left outside started making noise, rattling the sabre so to speak. It wasn't until Selig arrived that any commissioner could come up with a plan. He saved baseball alright, but he only saved it from the truth. They're repaying old debts with fan revenue from winning the Series.

Now I can congratualate the White Sox. It was all a sham anyway.

No one will believe me anyway. Ozzie was right...like he was every time in the playoffs...hmmm.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

Two theological questions:

Why did God let the White Sox win the world series?

Why did God let Fox broadcast the world series?

Weekly Football Update

Week #8 Top 25:
[Thursday, October 27, 2005]

1. USC (7-0) – Two more cupcakes before you close the year with Cal, Fresno State, and UCLA. Problem is, at this rate you can’t seem to find another opponent who is going to qualify as a quality win come the end of the year.

2. Texas (7-0) – 42-17 Does a blowout victory over a team that was ranked highly but unproven mean anything? Not enough to gain too much on old number 1 up there.

3. Virginia Tech (7-0) – Good win over a solid Maryland team. You tangle with BC next for supremacy in the ACC. Watch out, they overachieve well.

4. Alabama (7-0) – This team will give you an ulcer. Enough field goal victories. I will point out that I said, “Still, a GWFG is rarely seen in Tuscaloosa and may instill a little bit of confidence in those close games that lie ahead.” Hmmmm…not bad. Good win over a perennially tough opponent. Now they host 2-4 Utah State (going to the bakery and getting a cupcake).

5. Georgia (7-0) – You squeeze out a win over Arkansas (?!), and then face Florida. This will be a solid test that you will have to pass without Shockley most likely.

6. UCLA (7-0) – Put up 50+ in the last win. Now you have another easy Pac 10 game. I think we should rename the conference the Pac 2 ½. Could it be that the best offense in California is not at USC?

7. Florida State (6-1) – Okay, nice rebound against Duke (aka rebound university). This week you face Maryland, who can be troubling. Hopefully your freshman QB comes through in the big game. He hasn’t yet.

8. Miami (5-1) – Wilma saved you from certain victory over Georgia Tech without Reggie Ball, so now you have to face him later, but for now gear up to face North Carolina. This should not be close (sorry Rell), and we are watching to see if your freshman can come through in the big game—he hasn’t either.

9. Penn State (7-1) – Didn’t let the jobbing they took at Michigan hold them down as they absolutely crushed Illinois. It appears that JoePa hasn’t lost it completely. Could Penn St. win the Big 10?

10. West Virginia (6-1) – Wilma cancelled your win over South Florida, but don’t worry, you can get it later. Once again, “BCS bound, so long as they don’t screw up against some Big East stepping stone.”

11. Boston College (6-1) – You better keep overachieving, because you need to pull of a major upset in Blacksburg if you plan on staying up top.

12. Notre Dame (5-2) – Shook off the hurt long enough to lay the wood to BYU (not so tough to do). Now they have a chance to really make some more noise in a couple of weeks by beating a serious SEC team, Tennessee.

13. LSU (5-1) – Followed up your nail-biting victory against Florida with a nail-biting victory against Auburn. In November, you face the Crimson Tide. You have surprised me thus far by not dropping one of these games. I predicted early that you would lose to the Tide, and I stand by it, but you are showing some real strength. The defense is finally shoring up into what it should look like.

14. Wisconsin (7-1) – Took care of Purdue, currently eyeing up Illinois. Congrats on over-achieving this year. Who else is waiting for the “win this one for the coach” speech that has to be a part of some close game later in the year?

15. Oregon (7-1) – The Ducks have their work cut out for them as the battle Cal for Pac 10 irrelevance. This third place team in the Pac will rightly be largely unheralded.

16. Florida (5-2) – I said, “The game against Georgia this week is a must win if there ever was one.” They have had two weeks to get ready for this, and now their hopes of being there in the SEC east hunt ride on this one game.

17. Ohio State (5-2) – Hopefully the defense can be prepared to stop the run, because you are going to face Mr. Maroney and his friends in Minnesota.

18. California (6-2) – Barely survived Washington State. Can anyone play defense on your team? How do you plan on beating Oregon…wait, I know, outscore them in a track meet. Works most of the time for you guys, good luck with that.

19. Minnesota (5-2) – With two weeks to prepare for Ohio St. who thinks the plan is still anything other than give the ball to Maroney and run right at –‘em?

20. TCU (7-1) – Re-run time: “Although it is still hard to forget their wins over Oklahoma and Utah, it is even harder to forget that those sandwiched an embarrassing loss to SMU. Still, the horned frogs should win out.”

21. Auburn (5-2) – Tough loss to LSU that unfortunately meant a whole lot…especially with Georgia and Alabama still waiting for you at the end of your schedule. Regarding games against LSU, UGA, and Bama, I predicted: “This team will lose all of those games.”

22. Northwestern (5-2) – Explosive offense and unpredictable defense is an odd recipe for success, but it seems to be tough to beat this year.

23. Colorado (5-2) – Another crappy Big 12 north opponent laid gently to waste by the Buffaloes.

24. Texas Tech (6-1) – As I always say, too many cupcakes make you sick! Back down to where you belong.

25. Michigan (5-3) – This team just won’t die. Gutty win over Iowa (who we all know I love too much), and Josh’s formal apology, puts you right back in my top 25.



Why I am so smart…
1. My thoughts on Alabama – Even though it was close, it still counts as a win. That has worked two games in a row.

2. My thoughts on Texas Tech – Don’t be alarmed people, it’s okay…they still suck.

3. My thoughts on Auburn – They are losing all of the important games I said they would.

4. My thoughts on Penn State – no characteristic JoePa heart-breaking loss followed by massive collapse. This team deserved to be where I left them ranked.

5. My thoughts on California – Tremendous Offense, no defense, and a willingness to run with anyone.


Why I am an absolute moron…
1. My thoughts on Michigan State—they fell apart so fast.

2. My thoughts on LSU – they are better than I thought, but I still don’t know how much better.

3. Still stands: My leaving Marcus Vick off of my Heisman candidates list.

4. My missing UCLA in the preseason – talk about your all-time over-looks. Sorry. Is over-looks even a word?

5. My thoughts on Virginia – why did I think that Al Groh could help you guys turn the corner?


BTW…
Chips has issues with my rankings, arguing something along the lines of”….wah wah wah, my team is underranked…they could beat any of the three teams above them, etc. etc. etc. moan. Whine. Gripe…”

Anyway…

The real issue is, Mr. Chips, that your team very well could most likely beat many teams above them, but won’t get the chance. For example: Barring a major surprise, West Virginia is simply going to win the Big Easy, I mean Big East. No matter what, they go BCS. I can’t rank them less than that. Who they actually do play, versus who they could play means a lot.

Besides, if your team had not lost the game it should have won, it wouldn’t be in this position would it.

Actually, I realize, that your argument is not really about your team, so much as other teams that you feel are more talented than those teams above them. For instance, many Ohio St. fans may feel that they are better than the teams directly above them...or they may feel that their schedule is harder, so they deserve more credit. The bottom line though is that intangibles are tough to measure. I mean, Florida played just as tough a schedule to the same record. If the two met head to head, we'd know something, but they don't play head to head, so we look at other criteria, and in my oppinion, Florida has shown a little better. Sure they could beat the Pac 10 teams, but they aren't playing them, they are playing big ten teams and getting beat more often than they should. I know it's somewhat subjective, but that's how it is.

Nevertheless, I appreciate your concern, and if you are right, I will simply adjust my poll. If you are wrong, I will demand a formal apology. Sounds fair, right?

Question of the Day

Here is a painful choice that must be made:

Which Simpson girl is more talented, Ashlee or Jessica?

I want details.

Question of the Day

What is/was your high school's mascot?

Mine was the Highland Scots. Our band even wore kilts. Go Scots.

Question of the Day

Today I overslept and ended up late to work.

How many times a month are you late to work?

Question of the Day

Alright, serious mental impasse:

Many vegetarians eat fish.

Isn't fish meat?

What gives?

College Football Update

Week #7 Top 25:
[Thursday, October 20, 2005]

1. USC (6-0) – Talk about your all time lucky screw-ups. Although I never knew that fumbling the ball out of bounds on a running play ever stopped the clock once the ball was reset (because it never does and the last play was a freebie), give credit to a team that is better than anyone else at the two-minute drill.

2. Texas (6-0) – 42-17 over the crème of the Big 12 north. The Horns have to outlast Texas Tech, and then hold on for the rest of the year in order to see Colorado a second time…with the same result.

3. Virginia Tech (6-0) – DNP.

4. Alabama (6-0) – Barely eeked out a victory over a team they should have beaten by 20 points. This team needs to show up to beat the Vols. Still, a GWFG is rarely seen in Tuscaloosa and may instill a little bit of confidence in those close games that lie ahead.

5. Georgia (6-0) – So you doubled up Vandy, but now you have to get ready for Florida. UGA should win that and pretty much secure a date in the SEC championship game.

6. UCLA (6-0) – It took overtime to outlast Washington State? Still, you remain undefeated. Barring any standard Pac-10 screw-ups (like dropping a no-brainer to WASU) this team will face USC undefeated in their final game…could be interesting.

7. Florida State (5-1) – Crushing loss to Virginia. Too many penalties this late in the year. This does not mean that Virginia has taken a step forward. It means that FSU took a step backwards about three years ago, and they are just noticing it now.

8. Miami (5-1) – As I said last week: “Right now they are in the soft part of their schedule…” Way to stick it to Temple. But under 200 yards passing? Hmmm.

9. Penn State (6-1) – Absolutely the most heartbreaking game of the day (sorry ND). Lloyd Carr lobbied, got two seconds given to him, and used them to win at the last minute. Still, how do you run a vanilla 4-3 defense at the goal line on the last play—the LBs are useless, caught in no man’s land defending neither the pass nor the run!?! As I said: “the odds of finishing undefeated are not in your favor.”

10. West Virginia (6-1) – Huge win over a tough Louisville opponent that virtually secures the Big East title. BCS bound, so long as they don’t screw up against some Big East stepping stone. Kara, is a football genius.

11. Boston College (6-1) – Talk about your near-season-ruining upsets. Dodged a major bullet by coming back to beat Wake Forest. Keep overachieving.

12. Notre Dame (4-2) – I’m sorry.

13. LSU (4-1) – Nail-biting victory against Florida sure feels good, but don’t celebrate too long, you still have Auburn this week and Bama a couple of weeks later. I said last week: “They will not make it out of that without at least one more, probably two more losses.” I stick by it.

14. Wisconsin (6-1) – Congrats on outlasting Minnesota, but you still have a tough road ahead. Keep playing like this and you will send Barry Alvarez out a very happy man. Still, you lost to Northwestern? That’s your loss?

15. Oregon (6-1) – Strong win. This team looks like it is in a good place to go to a nice bowl game—not a BCS game, but a nice game.

16. Texas Tech (6-0) – 643 yards passing against Kansas St.!!! Let’s see what you can do against Texas. This is the most Longhorns fans have sweat since last year’s Red River Shootout.

17. Florida (5-2) – Followed up a devastating loss to Alabama with a searing loss to LSU. The game against Georgia this week is a must win if there ever was one.

18. Ohio State (4-2) – I stated: “Hopefully they haven’t quit on the year, because this could be a big bounceback game for them.” Congrats, you all didn’t quit. You beat a tough opponent in MSU.

19. Auburn (5-1) – Strong second half against Arkansas propelled you to victory. Carry that momentum into this week’s game with LSU, or else this season could end roughly. You still have Georgia and Alabama waiting for you at the end of your schedule. I predicted: “This team will lose all of those games.”

20. Michigan State (4-2) – If only you guys had a defense, you could have really upset OSU. But Drew Stanton can’t play every position out there.

21. California (5-2) – Back to back losses to UCLA and now Oregon State. Where did the offense go? It only gets rougher from here with Oregon and USC remaining.

22. Minnesota (5-2) – Maroney ran like an animal, but Wisconsin took home the W. Keep focused because you are just now in the tough part of your schedule.

23. TCU (6-1) – Although it is still hard to forget their wins over Oklahoma and Utah, it is even harder to forget that those sandwiched an embarrassing loss to SMU. Still, the horned frogs should win out. Nice season.

24. Tennessee (3-2) – DNP. A week off to prep for BAMA. Who would have thought that the plan would sound like: “Maybe we oughta do what Ole Miss done.” Should be a good game, but I am taking Bama.

25. Colorado (4-2) – As I said last week: “After you lose to Texas, you have pillowfights the rest of the way out. Congrats on being the turd that floated to the top of the Big 12 North toilet bowl.” How true.



Why I am so smart…
1. My thoughts on Alabama – Even though it was close, it still counts as a win.

2. My thoughts on Ohio State vs. Michigan State – I said that good defenses can beat OSU, but good offenses can’t. I was right.

3. My thoughts on Colorado – They really stink, but they stink less than their division counterparts.

4. My thoughts on Florida – They need a year to get the offense down. Until then, they are a second-tier SEC team.

5. My thoughts on Boston College – This team is over-achieving their way into an ACC championship game. It is actually really fun to watch—like those weird Asian game shows where people run impossible obstacle courses and every now and then one makes it through.


Why I am an absolute moron…

1. My thoughts on Louisville – They blew it…so did I.

2. My thoughts on West Virginia – Kara knows more about college football than I do. This team was my pick to finish fourth in the Big East.

3. Still stands: My leaving Marcus Vick off of my Heisman candidates list.

4. My thoughts on California – I thought they were primed to give USC a tough game, but then they lost a close one to UCLA and now a stunner to Oregon State. Oops.

5. Still stands: My thoughts on Purdue and Iowa – I argued that these teams would be involved in a three-way race for the Big Ten. But Iowa did wax IU pretty good.


BTW…

Thanks for the formal apology Josh.

Some Small Format Changes

As you know, the High Cheese has been under the gun lately in many areas of life. I am focussing more of my time and energy on studying for my Comps. Also, I am enjoying spending more time with the most incredible woman in the universe. Also, I have some home repair to catch up on.

As a result, there will be a small slowing of the number of posts on the blog. Actually compared to the last two-three weeks, it will pick up. Expect three to four posts a week.

But, I will try to keep a daily question. Breath easy.

Finally, notice the new font. It is part of a marketing plan hatched by Titus the hyper-anxious wondermutt, who btw is in charge of marketing for this here venture. He thinks it will inspire greater readership on account of its sleek design. You know, "New look, same great taste" kind of crap...marketing gurus. peshaw.

Alright. Back to enjoying yourselves quesolitos.

Question of the Day

What food item, regardless of how full or famished you are, can you simply not resist?

For me, it's donuts. I literally go nuts for donuts (don't steal that, it's registered). It doesn't matter if I have just eaten a dozen donuts, and I feel stuffed to the gills, if I walk into a room with donuts on the table, I can't resist it--I drift towards the donuts and I eat one.

What is your weakness? What is your kryptonite? Only unlike superman you are drawn to your kryptonite...meaning, you really want it...and it doesn't make you weak, but your will against it is weak...okay! Bad metaphor. Sorry.

Busy Busy Busy

Sorry for the recent silence, but I am rather busy at the moment. Meanwhile, exciting things are happening here at the Cheese factory. Soon to come:

* a possible format change

* a new schedule

* a new font

* the next college football update which will be released tomorrow. You won't want to miss it at all.

Wish I could do more, but alas, I am just a man.

Question of the Day

If you could transport any distance in less than two minutes, but on the guaranteed condition that upon arrival you would be horribly sick and vomitous for thirty minutes, would you still use the transporter to travel?

How the White Sox Ruined Baseball and My Life

Never mind that this year the trend is for umpires to blow simple calls and give games away (sorry ATL and LAA). This year's hot new fad is to beLIEve in the Sox--the White Sox, or as I say the black sox. Still, it seems that the black sox are everyone's media darlings, and what with their shoot-from-the-hip loudmouth manager, their championship drought, and their shoot-from-the-hip loudmouth manager, who doesn't like them. Me...that's who. So let me explain why the southsiders should not be allowed to field a team:

1. In 1919, the White Sox made it to the World Series fielding what many considered to be the best baseball team ever assembled. But in order to stick it to their crooked owner--the not-so-beloved and nostalgically-saved Komiskey--they sold the World Series to the gambling fixers and all profited massive amounts of cash to compromise the nation's pastime--making them officially known as the black sox. Now, Pete Rose was kicked out of baseball for gambling on the game, so why do the Black Sox still have a franchise. They spat in the face of baseball and now they are loved for it.

2. Ozzie Guillen may be a good manager, but he is not good for baseball. He is good for sports writers and ESPN, but let's not confuse those with baseball.

3. They ruined my vacation. Here I am in colonial Williamsburg just trying to walk down the Duke of Gloucester Street, which we must have done eighteen times that day, and I am wearing my Cubs shirt (can't accuse them of cheating, at least not effectively). Well, as I enjoy a Chownings natural root beer (which I am sure is not natural), we walk past the town hall and some fat docent with a really stupid hat and a stupider puffy shirt starts heckling me: "Hey Cubbie! What do we have here? Are you actually a Cub fan? I didn't know there was any of you left?" His fat chin trembled with excitement that he found a whipping boy.
So I defended my beloved losers: "Oh...heh heh...yeah. Gotta stay strong. Can't give up now--next year is our year." And I walked on.
About an hour or so later we walked right past the place again, and I swear it was like the rotund docent was waiting for me: "Well, well, Cubbie, Cubbie! Why don't you just give them up and try something else on...a winning team."
Okay, insult them, I will be okay, but attempt to proselytize me, and I am forced to act decisively: "So are you one of these bandwagon Cardinal fans that somehow always liked them but couldn't name a player from the 82 championship squad?"
He replied: "I have never been so insulted in my life. Being a Cardinal fan is almost as bad as being a Cubs fan." I have never been closer to punching a docent. Instead, I half-laughed, gave the classic Gen X resopnse, "Whatever..." and walked on.
An hour later we passed again, only to here him shouting out loud and proud: "Cubbie, Cubbie, Cubbie. Three times now you've come by. You must like this discussion." I did not like the discussion.
"Nope." I honestly shouted.
At this point my cousin (who has been a docent before and never gave crap like this) asked, "Are you an Astros fan? Why do you hate the Cubs so much?" I appreciated his sensitivity.
At this point the round mound of retard lifted one of his furry eyebrows and offered, "You know, there is a southside of Chicago too...heh heh heh." He patted his massive puffy shirt clad belly.
I should have known it, a black sox fan. I was seeing red. "Yeah, they call it north hell." I replied. "Enjoy watching your cheating team, who ruined the integirty of the game of baseball before it was cool, win eighty-five by the allstart break and eek out about 14 wins in the second half. Maybe they'll lose in the first round of the playoffs like they always do. Of course, Guillen won't allow that, he needs to cuss some other Latin American country out or something. Yeah, you have to be proud to be a black sox fan." The most wonderful woman in the world pulled me away from the confrontation and chided me for letting him get to me. For the rest of the day, I was angry and didn't get to enjoy the place much.
If he had tried anymore crap (which he didn't) that day we would have done the man-dance. My plan was the gut him like cattle and then slash his tires. Don't mess with the Cubs.

So needless to say, I hate the Black Sox. I don't "believe." I hope the ground opens up and swallows them all--especially Rowand and his shameful backstreet facial hair. Whatever.

Go Angels. You got jobbed last night.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

If you could cover one song karaoke style in a packed bar, what would the song be and why?

College Football Update

Week #6 Top 25:
[Tuesday, October 11, 2005]

1. USC (5-0) – They survived two tough ones, now they face ND. Why can’t they play anyone with a defense, and not just high powered offenses? They have a tough game coming in cal, as well.

2. Texas (5-0) – Beginning their own streak in the Red River Shoot Out. Why doesn’t anyone say Mack Brown can’t win the big game anymore? Oh yeah, because he can. That monkey is off his back and dead.

3. Virginia Tech (6-0) – Great in every facet of the game. The BCS is headed for a nightmare at this pace. They still play BC and Miami, but should win both of those, and FSU is not on the schedule. Look out Texas.

4. Alabama (5-0) – The secret is out and, all of a sudden, I am not an idiot anymore. Losing Prothro hurts, but as long as Brodie Croyle is healthy this team is on fire. This team can beat Tennessee and LSU and Auburn. They will play for the SEC title in Atlanta, but that may be a home game for Georgia. This is getting interesting.

5. Florida State (5-0) – Apparently defense wins championships and a lot of games. Weatherford is showing flashes of greatness, but he is still a freshman—don’t count on him to be consistent. Good thing you don’t play VT.

6. Georgia (5-0) – Good win over a struggling Tennessee team. This week you have upstart Vandy, and then you play Florida for the division. The schedule is set up to have them playing in Atlanta against the Tide for a spot in the BCS.

7. Penn State (6-0) – With Michigan Illinois, Purdue, Wisconsin, and Michigan St. left on the schedule, the odds of finishing undefeated are not in your favor. Unless your defense plays like they did last week…

8. Miami (4-1) – Right now they are in the soft part of their schedule, with GT being the only real opponent in the next few weeks. That late season meeting with VT will be a tough one though.

9. Notre Dame (4-1) – You beat a Purdue team that was apparently overrated (by me too), but you could really announce your presence with authority by beating USC. Talk about your offensive shoot-outs. What is the over/under on this game, 100?

10. UCLA (5-0) – This team plays a soft schedule until they play ASU and their high scoring offense (but UCLA outlasted Cal) in the second to last week and then conclude with USC. Good luck Bruins.

11. Florida (5-1) – Crushed by Alabama, and with that, the SEC east is looking like a one dawg race. By the way, a few weeks ago I said: “[they] never proved the option against a fast defense. Surely the game plan is not to abandon your style of play for every SEC game, is it?” It wasn’t that they abandoned it, so much as the Tide beat it out of them.

12. LSU (3-1) – With a loss to Tennessee, this team better be ready for Florida followed by Auburn, and then Bama a couple of weeks later. They will not make it out of that without at least one more, probably two more losses. At #10 in both the AP and USA Today polls, they are now the most overrated team in the top ten. I shouldn’t say it, but is this sympathy for the hurricanes, or are they actually watching this team?

13. Boston College (5-1) – Very respectable. This team is over-achieving, but it may pay off for them if they can hold it together.

14. Michigan State (4-1) Tough loss to Michigan. Now get ready to try and score on Ohio State. Good defenses have a chance of beating OSU. Teams without defenses but good offenses generally get destroyed. Guess what that means…

15. California (5-1) – Tough loss to UCLA. So far, this offense seems able to put 40 up at will, even in their loss. With Oregon and USC coming up, this team has plenty of tests left before I am fully convinced they are for real. Kudos to Jeff Tedford for another great offensive year though.

16. Louisville (4-1) – Playing in the Big East is the only thing keeping you in the BCS after the South Florida debacle. If someone else goes through undefeated or with one loss, look out, you guys are watching come new years.

17. Minnesota (5-1) – Savor your win over Michigan, but you have the class of the conference left on your schedule, so make sure Maroney stays healthy.

18. Oregon (5-1) – Conference games for the rest of the year and the only tough one left is Cal in three weeks, so make sure not to have a let-down game until then.

19. Wisconsin (5-1) – Lost a heartbreaker to Northwestern of all people. Three or four more tough ones to go, but they can play with almost anybody.

20. Ohio State (3-2) – I stated: “This team has serious, and I mean serious, problems on offense. I will give props to the defense, especially the LB corps, but the O has to get better, or this team is average at best.” So I was right. Another tough one against MSU this week. Hopefully they haven’t quit on the year, because this could be a big bounceback game for them.

21. Tennessee (3-2) – Actually even though now you have one quarterback, it appears you have no quarterback. This season could be a rough one unless they find an offense. The defense is still good though. Good enough to beat Alabama soon—no.

22. Auburn (4-1) – With wins over Miss St., Ball St., Western Kentucky, and South Carolina, is there any wonder why I don’t rank this team highly? They have LSU in a week and end the year with Georgia, then Alabama. This team will lose all of those games.

23. Colorado (4-1) – Trounced A&M last week. After you lose to Texas, you have pillowfights the rest of the way out. Congrats on being the turd that floated to the top of the Big 12 North toilet bowl.

24. West Virginia (5-1) – They play Louisville for the conference title this week. From there, the toughest game is Pitt to end the season (does that count as a tough game?). Kara, you should be happy.

25. Texas Tech (5-0) – Probably sick to their stomachs on cupcakes. Three I-AA opponents! Three??? They play their first real game against Texas in a couple of weeks. I am not convinced yet.


Why I am so smart…
1. My thoughts on Alabama – The best in the SEC West this year, hands down. Just keep Brodie healthy.

2. My thoughts on Ohio State – Does anyone else notice this team can’t score points—just like last year?

3. My thoughts on Tennessee – Crazy Legs Claussen is always dangerous, and always good for two picks.

4. My thoughts on Mack Brown – He can win the big game now. They just might win the biggest one.

5. My thoughts on Oklahoma – They really are average at best this year—and I mean somewhere in the thirties through sixties in their ranking kind of average.

Why I am an absolute moron…
1. Still stands: My thoughts on Pittsburgh – I actually had them ranked at the beginning of the year.

2. My thoughts on Notre Dame – I got off the bandwagon a little too hastily. Good luck against USC.

3. My leaving Marcus Vick off of my Heisman candidates list.

4. My jumping on the Georgia Tech bandwagon—they couldn’t handle the success.

5. My thoughts on Purdue and Iowa – I argued that these teams would be involved in a three-way race for the Big Ten. Why does anyone listen to me at all?

Question of the week...

We all remember the way Josh mocked me for having Alabama in the top ten and Michigan not ranked as highly. Now that we all can see that i was right, can I get a formal written apology?

Question of the Day

How much did you miss me?

The Return of the Cheese!!!

Hola quesolitos!!! Long time without you. The High Cheese is finally back from one vacation and a very exhausting family emergency, but by your prayers, thoughts, and the grace of God, alongside the loving companionship of the most incredible woman in the world and the hyper-anxious wondermutt, Titus, I survived and count myself as blessed.

I have so much to share and, now all the time in the world to share it, so I guess I will give it to you in a steady stream rather than one large vomitous post.

As a tease though...you do not want to miss my College Football Update coming out tomorrow!!! Amazing. That is all I can say. You will weep and go blind from its beauty.

So the happy thought of the day comes from the four year old that Aryn watches. His name is Andrei. That is not a typo, he's Hungarian. Anyway...Andrei and his dad had built a fort using all of the blankets and sheets and pillows from every bed in the house before Aryn arrived; however, they had not informed the wife that they had done this. So Aryn, going the extra babysitting mile, chooses to put the beds back together before the mom gets home and finds Fort husband-on-the-sofa. Andrei stumbles in to see Aryn scoop up the various linens and screams at the top of lungs while sneering so hard his face might have almost stuck like it,

"You destroyed the action movie! You ruined my life! I hate you!!!"

Needless to say, little Andrei has been blessed with an avid imagination, an explosive set of parents, and a white hot temper. He is why parents drink. Good luck Aryn. Welcome to the best birth control ever.

By the way, I plan on using that line sometime on some unsuspecting victim. Complete with "I hate you," at the end.