Question of the Day

Who do you think is more overrated?

Queen Latifa or Ice T?

Today's Elvis

Quesolitos, it is so hard to hide my excitement rigt now. I have had an experience that only comes about every once in a while--well, actually it comes about every thursday at the local grinder eatery, as well as every tuesday at the Rax roastbeef sandwich place. Nevertheless, what I witnessed was special...and I highly recommend it.

Basically, it's like this. Unwittingly, I went with some friends to the local grinder shop--its a toasted hoagie that it flat out good. Funny enough, they had a special on pizzas, so we went with the pizza--not bad...not on the diet, but the trick is to not let the exception (pizza) overtake and become the rule (salad). So anyway, we sit down to talk waiting on our pizza and, that is when it happened. Or should I say HE happened.

I noticed that the place was a little busier than usual, and that most of the patrons were above the age of 60. I knew that the pizza wasn't that much of a draw, but then I saw a guy setting up some speakers. Not long after that, he started in. He was dressed in some tight black jeans, a blue denim shirt unbuttoned three buttons to show some chest hair, a black faux leather vest, shades indoors, and poofy hair with sideburns. The real kicker was the oversized TCB necklace he wore. Oh yeah! and Boy Howdy! You guessed it! An Elvis impersonator!!!

And not just any Elvis impersonator, this was "Today's Elvis": Scotty Zion!!! No lie. I wish he had a website so that I could link you to it, but if you google Scotty Zion he is listed in several websites under the "entertainment" listings or (my personal favorite) "Nightlife" listings.

What was amazing is that as I laughed and snickered at Scotty, who was giving it his all with his Karaoke band playing loudly behind him, the old folks started to get up and dance in the middle of this sandwich shop. No lie, as he snag, no crooned, "He's playing Solitaire" there were at least six couples dancing. One was even younger, around thrity--granted he was wearing a Nascar shirt and she ran her hands through his mullet as they danced--but people were into this guy. Proof that passion matters so much more than simply being talented.

Wish you were here.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

We haven't done one of these in a little while, so why don't we go old school...

Who would win in a pit fight between Hillary Duff and Lindsey Lohann?

Cubs 2006 Preview (part 1)

Boy howdy, my quesolitos, I have had a good morning already, but it seems like there is always a ton of stuff to do. Recently took a new job and it is a big one. Lots of work to do before I can get to work--basically have to put a structure and some groundwork in place before I can really do the stuff i want to. Big project, but hey, God thinks I am the guy for it, so I must be. I'm all in (poker term).

Well, just about 5 days before opening night and 6 till opening day and I am pretty excited about it. My cubs look incredible again; however, they also look just incredible enough to miss the playoffs again. You know how some video games (Madden and All-Star Baseball) in the franchise mode let you decide who your team trainers are going to be? Yeah, well, play your cards wrong on that one, and your team spends all year on the IL...kind of like the Cubs great pitching staff. We go four deep with potential hall of famers who spend more time laid up than Christopher Reeves. This is getting to be really painful even to watch. We have to find some trainers and health staff that can fix our guys and make them rest long enough to actually completely heal. I can see that.

Well, in true Cubs fashion, lift your glasses high and say it with me: Here's to next year!

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

List 5 songs that you can't get out of your head.

My songs are:

1. Shelter - Ray LaMontagne
2. Hallelujah - Leonard Coen, Jeff Buckley
3. Daisy - Switchfoot
4. Death of an Interior Decorator - Death Cab For Cutie
5. For You I Will (Confidence) - Teddy Geiger

Rain On My Parade

Greetings quesolitos, from soggy whitebread, USA. We are apparently in the wet season. Nonetheless, I am happy. I am blessed to be in the rain. I have a feeling that this is the rain that will bring us to a healthy, lush, green spring. I cant wait to see the treeline green before it is blocked. Also, the more it rains, the longer construction takes because the ground is too soggy. The longer construction takes, the longer I have my window escape. Pray for rain.

Well, just so you know, here are a few things that have disturbed me greatly lately:

1. Public Breastfeeding - Now, I know that a hip and modern guy would be completely appreciative of the fact that such a natural and healthy thing should be welcomed and even looked upon with great admiration in today's world, but I can't help but be the guy who screams out "Whoa! Gross..." and then dry heaves while physically raising my hand to hide my eyes--as if looking would literally be painful for me. I know, this is uncooth, but alas, it's my true reaction.

2. Great Friends making Mistakes - No matter how hard you want for them to do the wise thing, they seem unable to come to it themselves. So you let the horse walk away from the water. You know it won't end well, but you just can't make them choose wisely. This has happened twice lately, and it makes me sad.

3. People who can't hide their loathing - Kind of like that time my brother was threatened by the guy who after being forced to apologize loudly whispered to my brother, "It's not over." Only this time, it was someone who had never met me and doesn't know me giving me crap about crap they don't know anything about. She tried to laugh it off, but did such a poor job that I was greatly disturbed with how something so far from her could eat her up inside--there must not be much on her insides.

So, here is a list of mine. I hope that these minor challenges don't make you think I am growing bitter and resentful, but I do hope that don't have to see another public disply of breastfeeding soon.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

What makes you smile?




Note: Your list must be at least 5 items long. All answers should be family appropriate. All answers that include the High Cheese will receive bonus points.

Thank God It's Monday (or, Why Cinderella Wears Green and Gold)

Good Morning, quesolitos. I hope that this amazing monday morning finds you as wonderfully blessed with life as it has found me. First off, this day is special...unique...odd (besides the fact it is the only March 27, 2006 you will ever see): I mean Florida is expecting record low temperatures, a team that most people didn't have winning their first game is now in the final four, and my pants fit a little better this morning. Okay, so the last one is really only special to me and maybe a few people who see me regularly, but nevertheless, it is part of my good monday.

So I am relaxing in my office this morning, leaning back in my chair, looking out my picture window at the construction happening outside and the beautiful landscaped treeline beyond the harvested corn field just behind the construction. As I reflect on human adcances and a planet strong enough to handle it and the magnificent wisdom of God to create it, it hits me...I am about to have a picture window full of wall. Goodbye treeline, goodbye corn field, hello wall. Even further, hello wall with transformer right beside it--and not the autobot or decepticon kind. Oh well, nothing can slow me this morning, because it is monday.

My cousin is closer to getting his dream job, so keep him in your thoughts and prayers. I am pumped for him. Of course, if he gets it, he may pass out from excitement. He has never been the best at outlasting life's surprises. He tends to faint in moments of high intensisty--like the time he saw a ghost, that was actually a close friend who wasn't threatening at all. But that's for another time.

Life just keeps on getting better...do you?

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

Will the US own Cuba within ten years of Castro's passing? Why or why not?

Whitebread, USA

Greetings quesolitos, from Whitebread USA. Indiana is sunny today and the snow is slowly burning off. Right now I am sitting in my office thinking about all of oyu lonely quesolitos out there just waiting for something to happen--the phone to ring, the paging system to call your name, the walls to all crumble, something...anything. I am here for you, always remember it.

So having lived large for over a year now, I now find that I am living too large. I am needing to drop some ballast so that I can get back to my playing weight. I actually find it helpful to monitor my weight loss and gain by what position I could play on a football team--like right now, I would be an interior lineman, offense or defense. If I drop about thirty, I could play defensive end easy. If I drop twenty more, I am a great tightend or middle linebacker. If I can drop ten more, I am ready to be an outside linebacker or runningback. If I drop even ten more, then I can line up at strong safety. Pretty neat stuff. Nevertheless, for now I am a lineman, so I have to find a way to shed some unwanted pounds. It's a good thing that I love vegetables and fish. Thanks mom and dad.

Well, life changes tend to come in groups, so new move, new approach to eating, new job, it's all a package deal. And right now, I think it is a really good deal. I miss Jersey, but I like it here as well.

Here's hoping you're happy.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

What is your favorite kind of hamburger?

Sky is Grey, Snow is Falling, and Vanna is Still Hot

Well, quesolitos, here's for ringing in springtime with a fat 4-8 inches of snowfall! Boy howdy. And how about being the only one to brave the road and come to the office? Boy Howdy two times! (or, Boy Howdy, Boy Howdy!)

So these are dark days but alas, simply because I cannot see the sunshine does not mean that the sun has indeed disappeared. For if the sun did indeed extinguish, then the world would certainly have frozen to its core and none of us would have risen today. All would end. Instead, the sun is simply hiding as it were behind a grey and snowy sky. Still, this shall pass, and hope will rise anew from the smoldering ashes of winters' cinders. I shivered.

Anyway, so last night the most incredible woman in the world and I had eaten dinner and seated ourselves in front of the idiot box for a little entertainment. We turned on the tube and found a classic American pasttime: Wheel of Fortune. One is startled to realize that after a...ohhhh....six year break from the wheel that in spite of all the new fangled attempts to modernize the show, Vanna is still as hot as you remembered (but now they give her lines) even though you know she has to be fifty or something by now. Also, you are startled by the fact that Pat Sajak's head is absolutely gargantuan--I mean he has the real life proportions of a bobblehead doll. Well, short story made long, we're watching, and there is this lady who is absolutely psychic (or as my dad would say, psychotic), and with two letters guesses "The Lazy Fox Jumped Over the Brown Log" and is right. Well, the puzzle is up and and it reads something like this:

_ _ S H R _ _ _ _ _ I _ _ & S _ I S S _ _ R _ E R

The genius lady mostly correctly gueses out of nowhere "Mushroom Cheese and Swiss Burger, Pat." Never the less, the next guy guesses "G" and can't figure is out, and the guy following him guesses the letter "N," which leaves:

_ _ S H R _ _ _ _ N I _ N & S _ I S S _ _ R G E R

Now, I am no whiz kid, but I followed the genius lady's lead and put together that this was a mushroom onion and swiss burger. So here I am screaming, "Mushroom Onion and Swiss Burger, Pat." Yet this guy looks at the board as if it were something written in swahili. The little buzzer beeps and he gives the board back to the genius lady who immediately solves. The best part was as she cheered, you see him double over and hit himself in the side of the head as punishment for his idiocy (or as my dad says it, idiodicy). It was incredible to watch him snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

May this brighten your day, especially if it is as dark and gloomy as mine.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

Alright, today's QOTD calls for some creativity, so right-brained people of the world celebrate.

Using the english language create a new word and assign it it's definition. You may alter existing words or be entirely original.

Have fun!

Back Home Again In Indiana

Hola quesolitos and welcome to the first day of spring. Woohoo! I've not had this much fun in...well...okay, so I have had this much fun and more fairly recently, but that is not the point. The point is that no matter how crappy the weather is today, and it is fairly crappy here in my new home, it is still spring. That means that the words of the old prophet, Eddie Vedder, are true when he writes, "No matter how cold the winter, there's a spring time ahead." Ahh...the truth of those words.

Anyway, so the most incredible woman in the world and I travelled across country--actually across part of the country, I mean, we didn't drive to Oakland or anything--in order to arrive at our newest chapter in life, which is actually a part 2 of a previous chapter. We have lived in Indiana before back in high school, where the Cheese proved himself quite the ladykiller snagging his highschool sweetheart whom he would later marry (the aforementioned most incredible woman in the world). If it was that great last time, how much greater will it be this time. Of course it wasn't perfect last time either, but hey, this is a new chapter...or a new part of an old chapter...or simply what's next. So anyway, we are here.

On the way we stayed the night in Morgantown, West Virginia. Not a bad town, and their basketball team is for real (just like bradley...who knew?). Anyway, we stayed at the Holiday Inn Express (and feel much smarter now thank you) in Morgantown, and I cannot let a another moment pass without telling you all that it was the best hotel room I have ever stayed in--and I have stayed in classic luxury in the french quarter, island resorts in Hawaii, the crown jewel of Disney's in park resorts, and many other fine locales (now I have stayed in some dives as well, but hear me out). The bed was amazing, the room was huge, the shower was awesome. I give it my highest recommendation. If you are ever hard up for a place to stay in Morgantown, WV, look no further than the Holiday Inn Express. Okay commercial's over.

So on Sunday, the most incredible woman in the world and I were able to visit the house that we are buying and will close on in just a few days. it was the first time that she had actually seen the house--imagine that! She had the trust to buy the house on my recommendation alone, sight unseen! haha, one born every minute. I could sell ice water to eskimos people. In reality, she is not a sucker and had sent her mom as proxy when I hunted. Smart girl. Anyway, she loved the house and I scored major points. I am after all, a ladykiller as discussed earlier. All I need is my purple double-breasted coat and a little more hair, and I am back to my highschool aura--wait, that description was not as flattering as it could have been, but oh well.

Well, I miss my friends back in Jersey, but things are going pretty well here. Continue to pray for us as we launch into the new chapter/part/thingy. Thanks.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

Not until you answer yesterday's boys and girls.

Shout Out

Too many names to remember, but I am trying it:

Mark, you are a true friend; Becky, thanks for looking out for me; Kevin, keep making music, you are very talented and challenge me to try and be better; Steve, live your life as if you can't get a refund; Katherine, stay as self-confident and strong as you are right now...you are awesome! John, good luck with a fresh start; Tater, go for it, and if you flop, then flop to God's geater glory; Margaret, thanks for being a friend to the most incredible woman in the universe, even she needs them; Sean, missed you this time; Aryn, you are amazing, keep following Him and keep Johnny out of trouble; Taylor, no more creepy hand for a while, and you don't have to cut your hair, but the neckbeard is worrisome at this point; Tito, honestly you were the most overrated Jackson male; Gerry and Robin, thanks for a place to stay and an incredible family; Melissa, I am so proud of you--enjoy driving; Sarah, update your blog, don't groan so much about getting up, and don't pick on your sister for being OCD...good luck in the Secret Garden; Matt, muster every ounce of confidence you have and cannonball into the water; Bret, you astound me with your persistent devotion, thank you; Pam, your family is great--thank you for helping hold them together; Nate, believe in yourself, you really can do whatever you set your mind to (besides flying, growing gills, and other impossible things); Amanda, keep dancing. St. Patrick, your day is a-coming; Wilbur and Val, we love you like mad and appreciate your kindness towards us; Josh, your strength and single-mindedness is a true gift, don't take it for granted; Justin, Duke stinks, but you're okay. Dale and Anna, you are true servants; Shannon, you are one of the sweetest people alive; Heather, keep embracing life; Mike, keep playing and keep focused, keep growing, and get rid of the jacket with the pink stripes. Amber, tell Tommy hi. Bobby E., stay as cool as you are right now; Cesar, enjoy Oklahoma, it's ok; Sandra, Nathasha, and Kiki, fight nice. Let's get fired up! Scott, you are a devoted friend and a skilled artisan (maybe on that last part, but it sounded good); Chris, thanks for making me cry. Tony and Nawana, good luckm with the house. Thanks for being friends. Theodore Roosevelt, even though your quotes were better than your presidencies, we still love you.

Soo many names...

Well, there are countless others, but these will suffice for now. I love you all and can't wait to see you again.

Remember, God loves you and so do I.

Before You Can Do Anything, You Have To Do Something Else First.

Well, the day has come quesolitos--I almost wrote "my little quesolitos, but then translated that would be "my little little cheeses," which is absolutely ridiculous, so I edited. See, that's how much I care, even after the highly suspect and extraordinarily shabby answering--or not answering--of yesterday's QOTD. No one has something to send to a flame, a dawg, a friend, a buddy, a chum, a pal, a sibling, a brother (the way they mean it on the street). You know. Anyway...

Well, as I said, the day has come...moving day. But actually this is not moving day, this is go to Baltimore first day so that I can present some retarded paper on social revolution that does NOT matter at all. Sure it may help me get a job one day, but if this is what it takes to get the job, I might not want it. Those people would desire me to do dreadfully boring and mindnumbing things it would seem. Oh well, those are the breaks to land the least stressful job in the world.

So really, the most wonderful woman in the universe and I will be travelling to Baltimore today, and then begin moving to Indiana on Friday, completing our journey by Saturday, so that I can start my new job on Sunday. Honestly, i can't wait to get there because that will restore my excitement about this chapter of life. Right now I am just really sad to be leaving so many people that I love.

For the Record: New Jersey people are great! I will miss them.

Well, I will talk to you on the other side. Enjoy your basketball for the next couple of days and try not to swaer at your TV too much...unless it's at Billy Packer, who not even God really likes. Just kidding, keep the profanity down to a minimum even with him.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

The following should be read in smarmy late night dj voice for full affect:

Who would you like to dedicate this next song to out there in radioland?

Move to the Music

Here is one more fast ball high and tight to help you get your day started off so right! Tell you what my beloved quesolitos, even though we have been through some tough times, I know that we can make it. Don't give up on us. However, brace yourselves, because there may be a day or two lag time coming. You see, tonight is our last night in New Jersey. I will post tomorrow, but no guarantees for Friday. The really cool part is that the post you get monday will be homegrown from America's heartland--big ten country--the midwest.

At least now instead of the Alabama football game i want to see, I won't have to watch Rutgers and Temple play...now I will get to watch Michigan State play Minnesota. Much better. wait...

Well, our stuff has actually already moved. It should be stored in some warehouse somewhere until April 4th. We are buying a house and possession is not for a few more weeks, but we never let that stop us, y'know.

By the way, it's oficial, the blues are my favorite kind of music to play on my guitar. Can't get enough. I'll miss our band here, affectionately named either Torpedo Jackson or the Last Chance Saloon depending on how we feel. Basically, we were incredible and we consisted of an expert, an upstart, a prodigy, a little indian boy named matthew and me. We made sweet sweet music. Everyone smiled when we played, and that was payment enough for us.

Make your own music today.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

Who is the sexiest bald man alive?

Philly Finale

Hola quesolitos and buenos dias. Today is a glorious day--if you just love Tuesdays then throw your hands up, because you are sure enough getting one. God was kind enough to give you this one so please don't waste it.

Well, life in temporary home A is pretty great. The Hogans are amazing people. Their daughters rock and more fun has never been had as a family.

Now last night, the Tater and his daughter Aryn and myself went on the Philly Finale! I had the best cheesesteak of my life (and that is saying something) at Deallsandro's in Roxboro (just shy of Manyunk). Well worth the drive. Jim's, Pat's, Gino's, and Chubby's can eat their hearts out--D's is the best. Then we went to Love park, which Kevin Bacon's dad designed--a true Philly icon (the park and statue, not Kevin Bacon's dad, even though he did make the cover of time once. After that we went to Thomas Paine Plaza and played with the giant game pieces--sorry, monopoly, dominoes, bingo, chess--all pretty neat. After that, we had some amazing Gelatto to cap off the night. The Pez family is top notch and time with them has ever been regreted or wasted.

Pray for my cousin because he just might get the job of his dreams.

Because I know you needs it...I gots it for you:
Countdown to stuff leaving: 0 days (Today baby!)
Countdown to us leaving: 2 days
Countdown to the NCAA tournament: 2 days

I really have to work on my planning. Stupid nerdherd in Baltimore. I wish I weren't one of the nerds, then I would not have to go. But I suppose it is all for a reason--as Aryn wisely encouraged last night. She really knows some stuff. Some...Aryn, not all the stuff so settle down there.

Well, another busy day--God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

How many times have you moved?

Ti-ii-iii-iime Is On My Side

Hola quesolitos. I hope that this wonderful global-warming-enhanced day finds you all as heated up as we are here in South Jersey, where we are scheduled to hit 80 degrees later today. Boy Howdy!

Okay so there are a few items on the docket today, and we will keep it fairly brief.

1. Moving.

The countdown until our stuff leaves is at one day. The countdown to us leaving is at three days. The countdown to starting my new job is at six days. The countdown to my last guitar night with the wonderful people here is one day.

2. NCAA tournament

So the tourney starts on the day we move, but that won't stop me from absolutely punishing the most incredible woman in the world with roving AM coverage of the greatest four days in sports all year. Are you committed like I am? Actually, for the best coverage on the tourney from people who aren't getting rich off of it, check out the full tourney coverage at Rell's blog!

3. Goodbyes

Yesterday I said goodbye to my family here in New Jersey and it was hard, but they loved me through it. I will miss everyone greatly and don't know if i will ever be this happy anywhere again. Pray for me on that one. I will say my goodbyes here at the cheese a little later in the week.

Well, it's warm today, so go out and do something. Don't just fill out brackets all day--unless you are at work.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

This one is a two parter:

If you were a professional wrestler, what would your special move be called, and...

how would it be executed?

Buenos Dias mis quesolitos! Boy howdy! It was over 65 degrees here in South Jersey yesterday! 65! And just try and deny global warming to me...see if I listen.

It has become almost legendary by now: The countdown to the heartland is at...

6 days

You know, I was thinking (and didn't even hurt myself) and realized that I haven't hit you guys and gals with a link lately, so here you go. This one made my sides ache.

Brokeback to the Future

Just hit the watch button and select your format. It is so worth it. Those folks at Emerson are genius...Genius , I tell you!

God save the Cheese and have a great weekend.

Question of the Day

Given the choice, would you rather watch a streetfight involving knives or screwdrivers?

The Reading Room

Hola my beloved quesolitos.It is time to update the old moving countdown: Overall, it is only 8 days until we move to the heartland, the midwest. But more accurately it is only 4 days until our stuff is moved, which means--due to my bad math--we have roughly four day to live here without our furnishings. I never said I was a mathlete, and somewhere in there there must have been some long division, which is usually where I go wrong.

Anyway...I had a real awakening the other day. Now I will warn you that this awakening has to do with my bathroom habits, but would you expect anything less from me? Of course not...I am, after all, the man who brought you safe house reports for a few months. So basically, I came across some pretty interesting statistics put together by the National Association for Continence, also known as the NAC to a bunch of folks really concerned with not wetting themselves. After studying and surveying over 1000 people, they conclude that the average American spends 2 weeks a year in the old sugashack. Yepper, you get as much paid vacation as you do alone time in the john. Even more interesting to me was the statistic that broke down what most people do while in the bathroom:

33% said they used the time to talk on the phone.
47% said they contemplate the future.
over half said they read.

Now, I have been guilty of the phone thing, but only with my brother and cousin--and generally it's simply an attempt to rattle the other person by beginning the conversation with where you are..."Hey man, What's up? I'm going to the bathroom...right now." Never in public, though. I do have standards you know.

About the contemplating the future group, I am not really sure what this means. Do they really sit there and plan out their lives? If so, how are so many lives so horribly misguided? I dunno...I think that people must have figured that this was the most desirable answer for people who want to seem intelligent.

Now I have to admit that I am definately in the majority group that dedicates that time to reading. I am renowned for reading large amounts of material during extended bathroom visits that need not be so long. It was following a forty page visit to the retreat center that the most wonderful woman in the world confronted me about this particular habit? The conversation was pretty quick, and I was on the defensive, but it went something like this...

Wife: "Where have you been?"

Me: "Bathroom," I answered incredulously waving my book at her.

Wife: "Why do you do that?" She was looking at me like I had crapped on the floor--I hadn't.

Me: "Do what?"

Wife: "Choose to sit in there where it smells horrible and just hang out and read a book? Do you want some coffee brought to you as well?" This last was sarcastic enough to be slightly hurtful. I knew I was bested.

Me: "Hmmm...I never thought about it like that."

She let me off the hook, but she had made her point. Why do I sit in there where it smells? Why have I made my reading place a torturous place to be after the first couple of minutes. I mean, sometimes it's so bad that I comment out loud to no one in particular, "Whoa! That is rough!" or, "Man, I stink!" Now here I am talking to myself out loud about how awful the place smells, and my next move is almost always to go for the book. Why don't I just contemplate the future for a second while I finish up and come out and read where the air is fresh? Definitely something to think about.

Enjoy your bathroom time, if you live to 80, its been almost three years of your life.

God save the cheese.

Question of the Day

After such a rousing response to yesterday's question i am not sure you have really earned another one, but I will be generous...

If you could be any animal in the world* besides human, which would you choose and why?


* I mean type of animal (i.e. a dachshund), not a single exact animal (i.e. my grandma's dog because it never has to do anything, can use the bathroom anywhere it wants, doesn't get punished, and is as fat as third place in the trailor park beauty pageant). Work with me people.

Plying a Trade (aka getting off my rear end)

Hola quesolitos! So today the Cheese has to go be all professional and ply his trade among the academic elites. Yepper, today is the day I go to teach at the old seminary. They bring me in, I rough them up, they let them loose, and it's over. Honestly, it gets me pretty excited, because it gives me a small taste of what all of this study has been about. I am very close to being through with all of this schooling, and I have already reached my own personal end---I'm simply too close to the end to quit now. It's gut check time. It's all about who wants it most. And I want it most. My gut is checked. I have no idea what that means exactly.

Anyways...We are officialy 10 days from moving to glorious midamerica. The heartland...Yellow Corn, Black Birds, and White Girls. And nine months out of the yar a sky as big as it is grey.

Actually, we are really geeked about it. It will be sad to leave, but it will be good.

Well, off to school the entry-level doctoral students...by the way, do you know what they call the guy who graduates last in his PhD class? That's right...Doctor. Have a great day.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

What is your favorite day of the week? Why?

The High Cheese and His Travelling Circus

Howdy Quesolitos, the most incredible woman in the world and yours truly, everyone's favorite fastball high and tight, have returned from their world travels (actually we went to Houston to see my extended family). We lived to tell about it, so it must have been a successful and enjoyable trip. But let me tell you about two things I have learned about myself while on this trip:

1. I am not afraid of flying, except at takeoff...and landing...and during turbulence...and when the plan turns...or slows down...or really makes any move other than stright flying...or goes through clouds...but other than that I am stouthearted.

2. I apparently have the words "NICE GUY" tatooed on my forehead in a special ink that only the disfigured, scorned, bitter, or semi-retarded can see. It's like I have this pheramone that sends off the signal "THIS GUY IS SAFE. HE WON'T HURT YOU. AND HE IS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ENOUGH IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS SO AS NOT TO TELL YOU TO LEAVE HIM ALONE."

For instance, one time I am walking in my neighborhood into a very busy convenience store (it's always very busy, it might be a drug front or something...hmmm). So as I enter a car horn blows. Me and the six other people going in stop and look at the driver in a "bothered" look as best as we could. Out of all seven of us he motions for me to come over. He needed directions. That's it. I mean, what gives? Why me? Do I look like I know how to get around places? Did I look like the guy he thought he could beat up if I tried something? As I thought about this, I wanted to steal his hubcaps just to prove him wrong about me, but I didn't know how. Note to self--nice guys don't know how to go about stealing someone's hubcaps.

ANyways...on this last trip, the most wonderful woman in the world and I take our place in line waiting to board our plane and talk amongst ourselves facing forward. Out of nowhere, this "special" woman in a flowery skirt, a pink sweater jacket, and thick glasses works her way through the line to the place behind us and gives this heavy whine-sigh-cough thing and straight levels her gaze at me. Uncomfortably, the most wonderful woman in the world and I turn around to check on her. Startled to find her drilling a hole into my head with her beady eyes, she explained directly to me while holding up her cell-phone, "That was my sister-in-law. She was asking about my flights."

All at once, a million thoughts ran into my head. The predominant one was, I bet that this was your brother's wife, not your husband's sister. I'd put a lot of money on that. I know...that was mean, but I am just being honest. In actual conversation, I opted for, "Huh...How bout that?!" and turned around, as did the most incredible woman in the world. But the conversation continued even after the physical hinting. She told me all about it--how she didn't like her sister-in-law. How she didn't want to be on the trip. How it was stupid to ask someone how their flights were before her flights were over. All of this in the time it took to board the plane. Never once did I feign interest or act like I wanted her to go on. At points I was even placing other people between us. But it didn't work. I thought for sure that as the most wonderful woman in the universe and I had our tickets scanned and made a dash down the floating hallway to get on the plane (what ever it's called, just go with it) we could put enough distance between us and her to cease the conversation. We got on the plane and took our seat breathing sighs of relief. Of course, she came and took the seat across the aisle from us--a perfectly good seat that countless normal strangers left open opting for lower quality seats.

Passive-aggressive as ever, I put on my headphones and faked sleep.

She watched me the entire flight.

Never fear, quesolitos, we lost her in baggage claim and victory was ours.

This one's for nice guys everywhere.

God save the Cheese.