Question of the Day

Which song is worse:

Everyone Knows It's Wendy, by the Association;

or,

My Mazzorati, by Joe Walsh.


Deal with that!

S.S.F.F. (Started Second, Finished First; or Started, Stumbled, Farted, Fell...you decide)

Okay, quesolitos, the time has come for me to express my extremem gratitude for your love which has carried this blog to its 260th post. Not bad! I laud your boredom and your conviction--your undying hope--that I may say something worth reading each new day. I laud your persistence when you realize that I have again let you down, but you kept coming back, you kept hope alive. Kudos to y'all.

Well, I began my exercise regimen yesterday.

Aside #1: Now here is when you know that you are out of shape--when you have to exercise in order to do the exercise you really wanted to do in the first place. What I mean is, I would like to start jogging, but first I have to walk quickly (which frankly is not so brisk a pace) instead, until I am able to get back on the jogging thing.

Well, I am walking with my buddy, Steve-O, and as we are discussingg something meaningful and rich like relationships...no wait, we were discussing whether or not one can smell their own swalls. Anyway, we are talking and walking and I tripped (just for the record there was uneven pavement there) and instead of just falling, I tried with my ninja quick reflexes to "outrun the fall." So my knees are churning trying to get under me, but gravity had taken too much a hold on my upper body (which carries the lionshare oof my girth), so the end result is a nasty fall on the paved walking trail. I actually believe I may have broken both the record for the slowest fall and the slowest ever accumulation of road rash. I jacked up my elbow, shoulder, ankle, calf, and foot (somehow? I was wearing shoes I promise!). They're all scraped up and bruised. At the time, it hurt my pride more than anything, seeing as how I fell right by the busy paking lot and smack in front of a ten year old girl on her bike who exclaimed loudly, "Mommy, that fat man just fell."

But I sprang up. I wasn't staying down.

Then later last night, I was walking in the dark through my house and stepped barefoot on a corkscrew. That drew blood.

So goes my health kick. If I keep it up much longer, I will die.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

What is the biggest accomplishment of your life to date?

The Biggest Loser

Hola my beloved readers. I have missed you greatly. How much, you ask? Well...a lot. If you want to know the intensity with which I have missed you, check out the intensity in this latest hook up:

Bright Eyes, "The Calendar Hung Itself"

If you don't know, now you know. That is the intensity with which I have missed you and love you.

Okay, so the most incredible woman in the world and I are involved in a challenge with some friends. Basically our best friends here in Indiana (a couple) and us have decided to make our own version of the biggest loser to help me not live quite so large. It's guys against girls--we will be measuring the percentage of weight lost in a given month and then awarding prizes as we discover who is in fact the biggest loser.

We have way more to lose than the ladies--we will destroy them. :)

God save the Cheese, and may he make the Cheese much lighter. 1% Cheese isn't that bad.

Question of the Day

What is in your CD player right now?

TGIF

So, quesolitos, we had a wonderfulk visit from some dear friends and they were great company. it kind of reminded us of how much we miss Jersey, but actually, I am beginning to feel more at home here in Indiana.

Okay, so the Cubs are officially breaking my heart again this year. How do we manage to lose two starters in the same play? They always do this to me. They woo me through the off season with a few moves...They gently cajole me with a promising report on our players' health...They bait me with a promising spring...And that's when they do it--they spring the trap and every other shoe in the world drops! Oh the heartache. They break my heart every year, but (and here comes the creepiest reference in a while) like the teacher in Lolita, every other girl becomes the one that ruined your life. I can't leave them. I can't move on. Though they slay me, I will cheer for them.

On another note, how cool is Matisyahu? He really is talented. He guests on PODs new album and it really is a great song. I actually was very impressed. I need to get his disk.

Well, enjoy yourselves and have a wonderful Friday.

God save the Cheese.

I Have Lived Through 111 of These 150 Things...Another Survey

Repost as "I have lived through ___ of these 150 things."

[1 ] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[2 ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been to Canada.
[ ] I have been to Europe.
[3 ] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[4 ] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[5 ] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[6 ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[7 ] I have played ping pong.
[8 ] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[10] I have seen fireworks.
[11] I have seen a shooting star.
[12] I have seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I have almost drowned.
[13] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[14] I have listened to one cd over & over & over again.
[15] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there
[16] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.
[17] I currently have a job.
[18] I have been ice skating.
[19] I have been rollerblading.
[20] I have fallen flat on my face.
[21] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[22] I have been in a fist fight.
[23] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.
[24] I have watched the power rangers.
[25] I do / have attend(ed) Church regularly.
[26] I have played truth or dare.
[27] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[28] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[29] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.
[30] I've cried in school.
[ ] I've played basketball on a team.
[31] I've played baseball on a team.
[32] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[ ] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[33] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[ ] I've climbed a rock wall.
[34] I've lost more than $20.
[35] I've called myself an idiot.
[36] I've called someone else an idiot.
[37] I've cried myself to sleep.
[38] I've had (or have) pets.
[ ] I've owned a spice girls cd
[ ] I've owned a britney spears cd
[ ] I've owned an NSync cd.
[ ] I've owned a backstreet boys cd.
[39] I've mooned someone.
[40] I've sworn at someone in authority.
[41] I've been in the newspaper.
[42] I've been on TV
[43] I've been to Hawaii.
[44] I've eaten sushi.
[45] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[46] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[47] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[48] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[49] I've watched the 3 stooges.
[50] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[51] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker
[52] I've been called a geek.
[53] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.
[54] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[ ] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hours.
[ ] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.
[55]I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[56] I've written poetry.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[57] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[58] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[ ] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[59] I've had/have siblings.
[60] I've been to a rock concert.
[61] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.
[62] I've been in a play.
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class.
[63] I've been picked first in gym class.
[64] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[65] I've cried in front of my friends.
[66] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.
[67] I've played Halo 2.
[68] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I've been to Alaska.
[ ] I've been to China.
[ ] I've been to Spain.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've had a fight with someone on AIM
[69] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.
[70] I've had serious converstations on any IM.
[71] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me.
[72] I've been forgiven.
[73] I've screamed at a scary movie.
[74] I've cried at a chick flick
[75] I've watched a lot of action movies.
[76] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.
[ ] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[77] I've lived in more than 2 houses
[78] I've driven on the highway
[79] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day
[80] I've been in a car accident
[ ] I've done drugs.
[ ] I've been homesick.
[81] I've thrown up
[82] I've puked on someone.
[83] I've been horseback riding.
[84] I've filled out more than 10 surveys.
[85] I've spoken my mind in public.
[86] I've proved someone wrong.
[87] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I've broken a leg.
[88] I've broken an arm.
[89] I've fallen off a swing.
[90] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 mins straight.
[91] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.
[92] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.
[93] I've lost my backpack.
[94] I've come close to dying.
[95] I've seen someone die.
[ ] I have wanted someone to die.
[96] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.
[ ] I've done modeling.
[97] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[98] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[99] I've realized how good my life is.
[100] I've counted my blessings.
[101] I've made fun of a classmate.
[102] I've asked someone on a date and been turned down.
[103] I've slapped/punched someone in the face.
[104] I've been skateboarding.
[105] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend.
[106] I've lied to someone to their face.
[107] I've told a little white lie.
[108] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.
[ ] I've fainted
[109] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.
[110] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[111] I've been pushed into a pool


Live vicariously through me, or post your own list.

Question of the Day

Alright, so since American Idol announced two weeks ago that they were covering the songs of Queen, I have not been able to stop singing and listening to Queen. As I have listened for the last two weeks, I have been brought into the crucible of this powerful and challenging question:

What is your favorite Queen song?


Note: Don't worry, I will not be on a Rod Stewart kick next.

Note2: I agree with the person who wrote about NCIS, but that is why on the eighth day God invented 24 hour sports networks and TiVo/DVR.

Ruff Stuff

Hey there quesolitos! Hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend. Things were wonderful here in Whitebread, USA; however, I will comment that since moving here to Indiana, there has been a 1 in 3 chance that a day will contain "Severe Weather." Honestly, a full thrid of the days spent here have been spent under tornado watches and massive hail warnings--thank God for garages.

Well, speaking of warnings, only this time in the warnings no one gave me category: Have you ever used Kilz primer? Well, if you have you know, and therefore, in my opinion, share the weight of the burden of responsibility to warn others that when it says "use in a well ventilated area" it means that if you attempt to open the can indoors no matter how many windows you have open, you will immediately get buzzed and soon will pass out. That stuff is noxious. It is rough--as a matter of fact, it is so rough that it merits the change in spelling...it is ruff. It is even so rough that it merits that changed spelling and the rhyming nominative...it is ruff stuff.

No really, we suffered through primering a room and after two days the smell almost cleared out, but for a couple of days Titus the hyper-anxious wondermutt was really sleepy (read: Stoned). He pulled through but may have developed a small huffing addiction, because now he likes to sit in the room that we are painting. Hmmm...

Well, we think it will be all put together by the time we host the Hogans. Can't wait!!!

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

How many of you watch American Idol every week?

I admit it.

If you do, did the right person get voted off this week?

Kudos All Around...Well, not ALL around, but a good bit.

Greetings beloved quesolitos, and welcome to your thursday morning!!! Are you fired up? You ought to be. Because this is a beautiful day and it is made for leaving work early and finding some double-header near you and taking up residence in the cheap seats with a brat and a ice cold coke. Well, I can dream...

So my cousin got his dream job! That is really cool. how many people do you know who are actually doing what they always wished they could do. Congrats Yasko.. Here's to you.

Just one shout out today: McDonalds for stepping up their coffee game. Here in whitebread, USA, there are no Dunkin Donuts (who make the best coffee in the free world), so i was about to break down when all of a sudden McDonalds asked me to try their coffee again. Superb, and they mix the cream and sugar, which is completely rad! Kudos McDonalds. Here's to you.

And to all three unconnected people who left me messages on my phone in ebonics two days ago, kudos to you as well.

Have a good one, and watch some baqseball today.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

If we were playing the game clue right now, based upon the facts before you, what would be your guess right now?

Who dunnit?
Where?
With what?

Pacers Fans Are The Best!

Hola quesolitos! Have you ever wondered how you can get even more of the High Cheese's running commentary on life? I know you have. Well, one place to check is my buddy Rell's blog where sometimes I guest publish. There is a really Cheesy post up there now about the NBA, so feel free to show Rell some love and check his blog out (even if it's really just checking me out at his blog...he won't mind that either).

Well, I went to a Pacers game last night and was reminded of why I don't care for NBA games. The loudest the crowd got was during the dog frisbee show at half-time...no lie. Except there were two sets of fans that made my bad seats the best in the house.

First, there was a guy behind me who had obviously loosened up (read: shotgunned a 12-er of PBR) before entering the arena. Now he was a Pacers fan, and a vocal one at that; but even more, this man was a Danny Granger fan. Seriously. When Austin Crosier came off the bench in the first, the place erupted (actually it kind of roused from its nap)--it is interesting how much they love the three ball in Indiana...no doubt the effects of having Reggie Miller for so long. Nevertheless, Crosier comes in to several claps and shouts of acclamation (or the latino version of that word that I seem to type more often--acclamatino...am I the only one that does that?), but this guy behind me begins his diatribe at full volume scream:

"BOOOOOOOOOOO! CROSIER SUCKS! GET HIM OFF THE COURT AND PUT IN A REAL MAN--D.G.! BRING ON DANNY GRANGIER!"

What made it better was that this guy would simultaneously cheer the Pacers and heckle Crosier. Crosier, who by the way went for a double double did make some defensive errors and missed a few shots. And every one was greeted with gleeful taunting from this drunk who had obviously lost his girlfriend to Crosier or else was shunned after 50 fan mail letters begging for Crosier to send him a shirtless photo or something. He was definitely worth the cheap seat price.

The second group was three young men who were such rabid Pacer fans that everytime the Pacers did something well they got up, hollered, and one of them even danced--especially after the three ball. In a fourth quarter pull away, this kid was breaking an Irish jig out so hard that I had to tell my friends to stop laughing at him because I thought that he had "special needs," after which we all felt horrible. But after the game, he and his buddies packed up their gear and walked off talking, and he was completely fine. We were dumbfounded and resumed laughing at him with no remorse. Think about it: How big of a fan do you have to be when people assume that you must be retarded to be that excited? Wow is an understatement.

Well, a boring game didn't stop us from screaming that it was "Miller Time" or hollering out "Boom Baby" after every three. I hope you had this much fun on your Monday night.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

What was the last important thing you flat out forgot?

Slowdancing in the Dark

Hey there, quesolitos! Sorry to have kept you all waiting for so long, but this whole buying/moving into a new house is very very busying stuff. It has had me tied up six ways to Sunday, no lie. Boy howdy! This house is great, and it seems to be slowly coming together very nicely. But enough about that, let's get to the good stuff...

Now you all remember my discussion of Scotty Zion, you know...Today's Elvis (who by the way mows in his costume (many eye witnesses), right? Okay, so you also remember how I made special mention of the couple slowdancing--you remember the guy with the matching sleeveless Nascar shirt and Nascar hat pulled up to show that indeed he had a mullet that was very strong and very agressive...no surprise that he sported the dirty sheat (copyright James Yasko); and his lovely wife who always kept her windbreaker on, no matter how sweaty she got. Anyway, they were dancing the night away as Scotty wailed like a gyrating Elvis-ish banshee into an amp jacked up far beyond what was necessary.

Now the next day, the most incredible woman in the world had given me the seemingly nagging task of getting our utilities turned on, and of course, that meant that I actually had to go to the city building and get our account set up. So I go and upon entering the office, the receptionist asks me to wait in the lobby (which was in fact not a lobby but a circle of chairs smack in the middle of the office...) because the woman I am meeting to get this task accomplished is with someone else (which by the way, meant she was gossipping with a fellow employee about other co-workers and wanting to "leave this da[rn] town.") Anyway, the receptionist lady, who must have been ninety, shares a desk with the Credit department--this dept. is not aptly named, because it actually means the we shut you off because you owe us so much money, you defaulting bum department. Well, as I wait, who should enter and get into the credit line, but this self-same couple who had shared that trashy and tacky moment (although in their own circumstances and on their own terms is probably a highlight in their relationship that will be remembered for a while) on the dancefloor the night before. Now he was still in his Nascar get up (still sans sleeves) and she was still a bit chilly as she was wearing her windbreaker, but this time her mom tagged along who was chilling to look at her underbite was so severe, and worse to listen to because she spoke in broken savage terms and phrases (mainly about how her daughter's husband was no good.).

Well, just as I clue in that this is indeed the same couple he gets to the front of the line in the Credit Department, where it is openly discussed that he owes several hundred dollars in back energy bills. So he compains and waves his arms motioning to various employees and after several interchanges the Credit Lady finally says firmly and loudly enough for all to hear: "You will have to produce $71.25 today or there is nothing we can do." Now, bear in mind, that she really had done all she could do--she was allowing him to pay less than a fifth of what he actually owed, and turning his power back on.

So what does Nascar do?

Pay?

Noooo....he motions for windbreaker and Hagrid (his mother -in-law) to get up and get headed to the door, as he announced loudly and in no uncertain terms that "Mannn/...this place is bull-[puckey]!" After flailing his arms angrily at the credit lady, he left cursing as he walked dragging windbreaker and Hagrid in tow and in conversation about how terrible he was.

Now, this made me think? Was it indeed bullpuckey? Was it bull that he should have to pay a fifth of his well over-tardy bill in order to receive even more energy that he will continue to default on? I say no. Nascar may have been angry, but he was not right. He had simply misjudged the situations ultimate fairness. He should also quit eating out if his lights have been shut off.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

What is your least favorite sport and why?

Opening Day, Closing Day

Hola quesolitos! I hope that Monday finds you all as tired as me. This blessed day has been declared National Nap Day. No, really. The holiday makers determined that the first monday after Daylight Savings Time begins is actually National Nap Day. So here's to supporting their decision.

Actually, bigger than that, even, is the fact that today is opening day of the baseball season! Boy Howdy! I am fired up. I can't wait for another summer of action. After all, it is baseball that has bequeathed this blog with its very namesake--the high cheese, named for a high fastball that is thrown dangerously near the face, yet gives the hitter false hope that he can reach the ball with the abt before it is past him. It is almost impossible to catch up to the high cheese.

Today, by the way, is also closing day for my wife and I. We finish the arduous task of buying a house today. Pray for us. I personally am exhausted with trying to be somewhere without having a place to truly be. That is hard work you know. So hopefully all goes well and we own the house by this evening.

Be sure to look for tomorrow's update of the year--the "rest of the story" is well worth the few simple clicks it will take you to get here. Unless of course it doesn't really take any clicks because you have made the high cheese your homepage--in which case we are appreciative that you are so desperate.

God save the Cheese.