Question of the Day

Would you quit your job for ten thousand dollars lump sum?

Battle Royal Fridays

So here is the battle for today, a three-way cage match between these three:

Kermit







Gonzo








Fozzie








Who ya got to win it all, and give me some reasoning for support.

Question of the Day

Sorry quesolitos, the busy bug finally caught up to even the High Cheese himself (could that have sounded any less masculine? Only if I actually used the word bunnies instead of rabbits in a sentence.). What that all means is that I can't provide a full post today. But I can pull a bunny out of a hat :) and give you a question of the day:

What is the weirdest job you have ever had? Explain.

Remember to pray for the gulf region. Also pray for the most incredible woman in the world. I'll explain more later.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

Alright, this one comes in straight from the garden:

What is your favorite green vegetable?

Note: For the most beautiful woman in the world: Corn does not count as a green vegetable.

Note: For the rest of you: Neither do potatoes.

Link of the Week

It's wednesday, my precious quesolitos! And you know what that means...it's time for the link of the week!!! Everyone get their little mice ready to do some clicking. I have searched long and hard to please you with this gem of the world wide web. Hope you enjoy.

Have you ever thought to yourself: Man I should remake a hugely successful movie that was long and arduous, only do it in like thirty seconds...yeah...only animate it...yeah...and bunnies should play the lead roles...no...all the roles!

Well get in line.

TITANIC

Question of the Day

Which sport deserves more air-time on television here in the USA?

College Football Weekly Update

Week #3 Top 25:
[Tuesday, September 20, 2005]

1. USC (2-0) – So I already said: Until they lose, they are #1. And then they hung 70 on an SEC team (not Vandy either!). I know Arkansas is down, but that was simply amazing. It is going to take one mean defense to beat USC.

2. Texas (3-0) – Still beating up on the little guys. Good win.

3. Louisville (3-0) – They found their offense! Even though I am pretty sure this team will go undefeated, the West Virginia game is heating up! (Did you hear that Kara?)

4. Virginia Tech (3-0) – Shut out Ohio in an impressive win. This week they play Georgia Tech for the ACC title.

5. Florida (3-0) – Outlasted UT, but never proved to option against a fast defense. Surely the game plan is not to abandon your style of play for every SEC game, is it? But if it works…

6. Florida State (3-0) – This team plays to the level of their opponent—that means they are in every game, but it also means they can’t put anyone away. Still, a good win against BC.

7. Alabama (3-0) – The most underrated team in the nation looked excellent spoiling the home debut for the old ball coach. If they keep playing this well, they will win the SEC this year. Watch out!

8. Tennessee (1-1) – Did I already say something about two quarterbacks actually meaning you have no quarterbacks. Yeah…I thought I did. This team is in trouble until they pick a starter.

9. Iowa (2-1) – Solid bounce-back win, but Northern Iowa shouldn’t even score against you. Get ready to play for the Big 10 title this week against Ohio State. I’m taking Iowa.

10. Georgia (3-0) – Way to get a big win over a small program. Expect the same against Miss St. this week. Still, Bama beat South Carolina much more convincingly, so they have to give the spot back.

11. Georgia Tech (3-0) – Solid victory over Uconn. Get ready to go to Blacksburg and pull off another stunner, like the one over Auburn.

12. LSU (1-0) – DNP.

13. Miami (1-1) – Won OT shootout against Clemson. This week we welcome Miami—the U—to the second teir. You have been here for a year or two as well.

14. Purdue (3-0) – 31-24 victory over Arizona makes me repeat myself: Great offense, but they allowed 24…Uh-oh. Shore that up before you get to conference play.

15. Arizona State (2-1) – I know it was Northwestern, but 409 passing yards points to the truth about this team—they can score with anyone…anyone! USC take notice or you will get upset.

16. Michigan State (3-0) Great win over ND. Can they keep it rolling and win their rivalry games as well? Michigan fans ought to be worried.

17. Notre Dame (2-1) – So what might Michigan St. do to Michigan? ND ifans should still be exultant, but the bandwagon will undoubtedly be much lighter for now.

18. Michigan (2-1) – Wowwee! You guys sure beat the crap out of E. Michigan. Boy, that’ll teach me not to rank you right where you deserve.

19. Ohio State (2-1) – An unimpressive win over a weak team. OSU didn’t even pull away until midway through the fourth. This team has serious, and I mean serious, problems on offense. I will give props to the defense, especially the LB corps, but the O has to get better, or this team is average at best.

20. California (3-0) – Quality win over an average Illinois squad. Strong showing, and this without the starting QB.

21. Clemson (2-1) – Soooo close to the biggest job save yet by Tommy Bowden! This team could make some noise in the ACC though. I expect them to keep playing strong. Whitehurst is the best RB on the team (even though he lines up under center).

22. Texas A&M (1-1) – Went to the bakery, got a cupcake, and ate it up!

23. Boston College (2-1) – Close loss to FSU. If this team had stayed in the Big East, they could have been the best in the second tier there as well.

24. Colorado (2-0) – DNP. You need a week off after New Mexico St.

25. Vanderbilt (3-0) – I don’t expect them to stay in the Top 25—heck! I don’t actually think they really belong—but the Dores are bowl bound this year, and the last time they were 3-0 I wasn’t alive, so deal with the charity mention.


Why I am so smart…
1. My thoughts on Oklahoma – They really are average at best this year.

2. My thoughts on Fresno State – They gave up 17 to Weber State. No wonder Oregon was a problem.

3. My thoughts on Ohio State – Does anyone else notice this team can’t score points—just like last year.

4. My thoughts on BC – I never had them ranked in the low teens, like most fad polls.

5. My thoughts on Purdue – Great offense, but still lack a defense. Easy schedules can only hide your bad D for so long.

Why I am an absolute moron…
1. My thoughts on Tennessee – a whole mess of seniors, a strong defense, and team speed can’t make up for a coach who won’t admit his two QB system is killing his team.

2. My thoughts on Pittsburgh – I actually had them ranked at the beginning of the year.

3. Echo: My leaving Bowling Green QB, Omar Jacobs off of my Heisman watch list – 2 Games and he has 1000+ yards and 10 TDS. Stat-monster in a down conference.

4. My thoughts on Notre Dame – I got on the bandwagon a little too hastily, perhaps they should not be top 15 yet.

5. My leaving Marcus Vick off of my Heisman candidates list.

Question of the Day

The Q.O.T.D. is mmm...mmmm....good today:

What is your favorite kind of soup?

Please provide details.

Homecoming!

Good morning and welcome to another incredible week, my beloved quesolitos!

Today, the most incredible woman in the world gets home from her trip to see her family. I am more than just a little excited! Even better news, she caught an earlier flight than expected and is getting home early! Awesome!!!

Titus the anxious wondermutt is just as psyched as I am.

But that means I have much less time to clean than I originally expected. Hope your day is as incredible as mine!

God save the Cheese!

Question of the Day

After an uber-supportive, "I don't like the questions this week." from the tater, I considered not concluding the series. And then I considered that he might just be whining like a little girl, and therefore, I have no problem finsihing the questions (Oh I am wearing my jersey today, friend).

So the last question in the series:

If you could pick any two songs to be played at your funeral, what would they be?

I know it's personal and subjective, but that is the point after all.

Fight of the Week

Who would win in this all out brawl?

Dick Cheney or Donald Rumsfeld?

I want details.

This would truly be the fight of the century, and I would--no lie--pay at least $100 of my own money to watch this on pay-per-view.

Question of the Day

Boy howdy! Things are heating up...


Are you all ready for part three in our series on music, this one comes in from Michael Bolton:


Who are the three singers most guilty of trying too hard to make things emotionally charged?

Link of the Week (maybe the year)

Greetings adoring public! The High Cheese is coming in fast this morning, fresh from a run and charged with superendorphins--and coffee--to bring you utter joy.

As you know I work very hard scouring every deep and dark corner of the vast reaching internet in order to bring you the deepest and greatest joys. Alas, not only do I do this, but at times I inspire you--valued guests and committed readers--to do this very same thing for the good of all involved. So it is today, with great pleasure that I thank chopper1 for his commitment to sharing happiness with the group. He has sent me a link that will undoubtedly make you so overjoyed, you may ruin your shorts if you don't take a trip to the "reading room" before this (all I'm saying is that if all that was going on was reading in there, I don't think it would smell like that!).

So to help you on this great halfway point of your work week, I give you...

REAL ULTIMATE POWER!!!

Look people, if the site itself is not enough, the muzak version of "Big Pimpin'" by Jay-Z makes this worthwhile.

Question of the Day

Alright, part 2 in the series:

Of course, plenty of people make you list your favorite songs, or the best songs, but we are not plenty of people. We are completely and essentially different. Sooo...

What are the three sexiest songs ever written?

Note: The Police's "Every Move You Make" is not a sweet song, it is a song about stalking someone. Listen, you'll see. Let's not include it.

Weekly College Football Update

Week #2 Top 25:
[Tuesday, September 13, 2005]

1. USC (1-0) – DNP. Get used to hearing this: Until they lose, they are #1.

2. Texas (2-0) – Showed that they now have what it takes to win the big game. By the way, in their last two games against the conference, this team is 2-0 against the elite teams of the Big 10 now—can we stop saying how much better the Big 10 is than the Big 12?

3. Tennessee (1-0) – Tough test coming against Florida. We should see what both teams are actually made of.

4. Louisville (2-0) – Expect them to remain in the top five the entire season. If everyone else loses a game, will they play for the Title?

5. Virginia Tech (2-0) – This team crushed Duke—something Duke’s school paper reports every week. Still, the Hokies look to be the best team in the ACC.

6. Florida (2-0) – 2-0…against cream puffs. Now they have Tennessee.

7. Florida State (2-0) – Sure they won big over the Citadel, but 13 to 10 at the end of the first half is more than somewhat alarming!

8. Iowa (1-1) – Apparently, I was wrong. They can’t really run. Drew Tate was concussed in the first half, but I honestly don’t know if it even mattered. This was an ugly loss to a slightly better than average rival.

9. Georgia (2-0) – Eeked one out against Spurrier’s Gamecocks. This is the Georgia team I expected to see—a little shakier. This team will not win the SEC East, but they will jump Bama for winning two tough games to start the year.

10. Alabama (2-0) – The defense looked good, but they waited until the second half to get the offense up and going. That may work against USM, but they might have been buried by someone with more talent. [Note: verbatim echo of last week, changing only the opponent’s name.]

11. LSU (1-0) – Dramatic last second shootout victory serves to prove their mettle and the fact that their defense is not as good as everyone was saying.

12. Miami (0-1) – DNP. Didn’t play, didn’t lose. But the QB might have still been hurried.

13. Purdue (2-0) – Great offense, but they allowed 24 to Akron. Uh-oh. Shore that up before you get to conference play.

14. Georgia Tech (2-0) – Gutty win in a potential let down game against UNC. This team is a threat to the ACC elite.

15. Notre Dame (2-0) – Two big wins, a great offense, an incredible coach, and a whole lot of angst about how far this team could go.

16. Michigan (1-1) – Okay, so they strung two consistent halves of football together…two bad halves. Now am I still stupid for ranking this team outside of the top ten? Hey, I thought they would win this one. I think they have another loss or two coming.

17. Ohio State (1-1) – Tough loss that proved the maxim true: If you have two QBs, you have no QBs. Both of them made crucial mistakes in crunch time. This team will lose another game this year, because they still don’t have an offense. Am I still an idiot for not listening to ESPN on this ranking either?

18. Arizona State (1-1) – This offense is tough to stop, but unfortunately they didn’t have the ball last. Better clock management and they really do have an outside shot at USC.

19. Oklahoma (1-1) – A strong fourth quarter help you finally close the door on that tough Tulsa team…er… Will this team beat UCLA next week? UCLA put up 60+ in their last game. Look out. Surely OU are not 100% run this year, right?

20. Clemson (2-0) – I said this last week too: “Got away with a win over a better opponent” but this time the opponent had a better coach. They are starting to believe in themselves, which will go a long way in college football. Whitehurst still looks good.

21. Texas A&M (0-1) – DNP. Had a week to contemplate hiring a new coach to match their great talent.

22. Fresno State (1-0) – You’d better beat Weber State 55-17. The funniest part was that at one point ESPN had a gamebreak just to show a highlight of a Fresno St. score. This is against Weber State!!! How does this defense allow 17???

23. Boston College (2-0) – Okay, BC 2…cupcakes 0. Now play someone to show us that you are for real. Their annual date with ND is looking like it could be fun.

24. Colorado (2-0) – Shut out New Mexico St. Good job, but so could my buddies and I. I still like your chances in the north, is you can survive your slap fight with Nebraska.

25. California (2-0) – Okay, two solid wins over no one in particular, but the last no one was a conference game. I’ll give you a nod.


Why I am so smart…
1. My thoughts on Michigan – any questions about their ranking this week?

2. My thoughts on Ohio State – any questions regarding their ranking this week? Pick a QB and stick with it. Bottom line.

3. My thoughts on Texas – I knew they would win.

4. My thoughts on LSU and Arizona State – You will notice that I had them ranked 16 and 17 with LSU just slightly better. Not bad, huh?

5. Echo: My thoughts on Adrian Peterson and the Heisman race – Who isn’t looking run at this point?


Why I am an absolute moron…
1. My thoughts on Texas – Did I say three TD win??? I meant three point win.

2. My thoughts on Iowa – I really thought they were great. Iowa State didn’t.

3. My continued belittling of Georgia Tech – I should probably rank them in the top 15 at this point, but I had given their spot to teams like Michigan.

4. My leaving Bowling Green QB, Omar Jacobs off of my Heisman watch list – 2 Games and he has 1000+ yards and 10 TDS. Stat-monster in a down conference.

5. My thoughts on Oklahoma – I figured they would regroup and blow Tulsa away…whoops. They did regroup, and still can’t throw worth jack.


Intriguing Question…
So TCU was handled, 21-10, by SMU. Could SMU therefore handle OU? This is getting fun.

Question of the Day

The first in a series of bests relating to music:


In order, who do you believe rank as the best three guitarists in the last 100 years of music?


Note: Besides me.

Note: And the "In order" part matters. Tate, none of this, "I'm not a list person," business.

Dance Fever, starring Steve Spurrier

Hola quesolitos! You are all so good to me, and I hope and pray that I can be even half as good to you. It is another wonderful monday. I know that many of you are back at your jobs, but keep hope, you are after all using company time to read this. May they pay you well for doing so.


Well, I was caught on film again doing what we all know I can do extraordinarily well--dancing. But I wasn't just dancing, I was popping and locking. What can I say, I got soul. Flat out--I got soul. I may not look like it, but I do. I am not trying to get teh big head here, all I am saying is that I can dance...really, really well. I will see if I can get a vid clip on here so that you all can witness to this fact as well. Until then, all you get are stories...true stories. It kinda looks like this pic.

So the NFL is back into it's regular swing. I have several fantasy teams and pick 'em leagues. This first week has confirmed my deepest fears that I have been suspecting were true for several years. I call it: The Spurrier Syndrome.

Okay, so the last few years I have been writing a column in some form or another that is basically the same as my college football bonanza, followed by weekly updates. As you have noticed, I am not absolutely horrible at such prognostication. As a matter of fact, I am pretty decent at it--and take some pride in the fact that I am not so bad at prognosticating on the college game. I also am a participant in several pick 'em leagues for the college game--I usually finish in the top two or three (props to Doug who is a football genius...). Bottom line, I get the college game. Because of this success, I have frequently tried "taking my shot" in the Pros.

This is where the Spurrier Syndrome kicks in--someone can be exceedingly talented at the collegiate level only to find out that they are simply mediocre at best, and a bumbling idiot in honest introspection, when they attempt to take their shot at the pro-game. For some reason, coach Spurrier and I suffer from the same ailment: we can't hack it with the pros. I woe the day of my fantasy drafts. I rue the moment I signed onto these leagues.

Needless to say, I am not doing well after the first week of the NFL. At least I have the Bears...oh wait. They are only further proof of my lack of ability to prognosticate upon the NFL, which stand for Not For Long at the rate I am going.

God save the Cheese...and someone teach him about the pro game...please.

Question of the Day

This won't take much immagination at all.

Who would win in a fist fight between Dr. Phil or Wilford Brimley? Why?

Joy

Hola! Greetings adoring fans of the High Cheese! It is with utmost pride and sincerity I present to you history in the making.

Here is a small link meant to brighten your day and help you make a difference in the world today. You really should listen to all of it, and feel the total joy.

The High Cheese's Joy

TGIF. God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

Who would have thought that so many people whould be so into game show hosts? Awesome. Okay that was not the question of the day. This is:


Celebrate Diversity Smurf wanted me to ask you this:

If you were a smurf, what would your smurf name be?

Note: This smurf name need not already exist. For example, you could fashion yourself as Bully Smurf if you wanted.

Post Script: Right now teams are shaping up nicesly for the busters and breakers game. make sure that you answer that question from three days ago. Thanks.

Happy Birthday Memories

Boy howdy, adoring quesolitos! What a Thursday. Another gorgeous day in the heart of South Jersey. I hope that wherever you are right now, you are having an amazing day. And if you aren't then I hope that the chin music (baseball term, synonymn for the high cheese, also a baseball term) can cheer you up. I am a people pleaser people. What can I say? Anyway...

So, it is only officially less than a month from my birthday now, and it gives me reason to cast my mind back to the days of yore and a tear comes to my eyes as I think of tender birthday moments from my past...like my thirteenth birthday.

I am not Jewish, so there was no bar mitavah; however, there was a midwestern football fan's equivalent--my first pro-football game. As I look back now, I realize that the trip was planned and agreed to by my father almost three months in advance, but most of the planning was on the fly (it's the thought that counts). That is the only way you could explain scalping our way into everything we did and having to search for a hotel for like three hours once we arrived. But back then, I didn't care, I was in the windy city and I was ready for some football.

We were going to see the Bears and the Redskins play--I know, now it sounds like two nerdy fat kids fighting over a kitkat, but back then it was actually a really good game. Well, having spent the better part of our day haggling at places like the Three Tree motel or the Wrangler Inn, we finally deciding on the delectable digs of the super-chic Super Eight. Only the best for us! It was a serious birthday bash!

It was Saturday afternoon and we had nothing to do. Dad had a plan. We loaded up in the car and drove over to Soldier Field, the home of the Chicago Bears. It was gorgeous. It was proud. It was dignified. It was not like the cookie cutter stadiums of much of the rest of the league, this was special. Also, it was saturday, and Soldier field could have been the most special and dignified place on earth and it would still be empty. So my dad parks the car near an entrance and we get out and begin to walk around this masterpiece of social art. We circled, my hand never leaving the stone facade of the stadium wall. I watched as we began walking under the high wall with the columns. I grew excited. Then I saw it--the part of the wall that bears the testimony explaining that Solidier Field was built in honor of all of the men and women who have served our nation in its armed forces giving their life for our freedoms. I shuddered. I looked for my father, himself a veteran, to hold his hand at this moment. I didn't feel him around me, so I turned and looked for him. As I lowered my gaze I found him, fly undone, urinating in public, on the very wall that I was so proud of.

I was about to cry at the desecrating sacrelige I had seen. I screamed, "Dad! You can't do that! That was built in honor of the soldiers in our armed forces!"

"Well, that's me! I'm a veteran, so suck it up, little girl. Bout time you learned to shut up and be a man." I could always count on my dad in these more sensitive moments. He after all was teaching me that part of being a man is public urination on architectural landmarks.

So it wasn't long before we came up to a security guard who fortunately only chastised my dad for taking a leak on the wall, especially after my did bribed him. Actually, dad bribed him so well, we got to tour the inside of soldier field. We got to go down Bear Alley where the media room and the locker room is. I got to look inside the lockerroom, and even walk out onto the grass at soldier field. Oddly, I found a five dollar bill on the sideline. I still have it. My dad tried to argue it was his.

So the next day, we went to the coldest football game of my life, scalped two tickets for and sat in what they called the "family section," had two beers "accidentally" thrown on us, watched my dad get into a swearing match--which he lost--with the sailor next to us because the guy was swearing too much in front of me in the family section. Mark Rypien stopped a fight by completeing a touchdown pass in the endzone resulting in loud cheers and groans, which thankfully diverted their beer-shortened attention spans.

How do you forget something like that? The Bears may have lost, but I came out the big winner.

God save the Cheese.

Question of the Day

Some of you have yet to answer the Busters and Breakers question that is really important. Please find it (two days ago) and make your decision. The game will be revealed once teams are complete. Patience is a virtue (flick).



Today's question...


Bob Barker wanted me to ask you guys this question:


Who is the best game show host in history?

How To Guide

How to stop looters...


and lose your apparently not-so-significant other.

College Football Weekly Update

Get used to this Tuesday tradition, brought to you by the High Cheese. Who loves you, baby?

Week #1 Top 25:
[Tuesday, September 6, 2005]

1. USC – Until they lose, they are #1.

2. Texas – Sure if was Louisiana-Lafayette, but 60 is tough to get to without a defense out there.

3. Iowa – I don’t hate telling you that I told you so. They beat a bad Ball State team with 13 of its players on suspension, but only 14 of the 56 points came through the air. They can run this year. Watch out.

4. Tennessee – They should have won by more than seven against UAB.

5. Louisville – They should have won by more than seven against an improving Kentucky program. Still, they will not lose from here on out.

6. Virginia Tech – Impressive win against a tough defensive opponent in NC St. Vick looked very strong. The Hokies may have something here.

7. Florida State – An awesome defense and a completely befuddled offense. Two freshman at QB will cost them one game at least, but if not against Miami, then who?

8. Florida – The read-option put 32 on Wyoming. Hmmm. 320 passing yards is a lot for an option team…maybe they lack a solid runner, but I said that already, didn’t I?

9. Alabama – The defense looked good, but they waited until the second half to get the offense up and going. That may work against MTSU, but they might have been buried by someone with more talent.

10. Georgia – Absolutely crushed Boise State. I still think that they lost something defensively, but maybe this is Shockley’s year. Go Dawgs, sick’em, woof.

11. Miami – How many offensive lineman can you send to the NFL before your line looks like swiss cheese? Apparently this many. That was turn-style blocking: slow them down, but let them through. And they didn’t even really slow them down. Proof that no matter how much speed and talent you amass, if your line is weak, then you are weak. Major red flags that the only time they were successfully protecting the QB was when FSU rushed three! They have five blockers and couldn’t stop four on the rush. How many times is that Wright kid going to get sacked this year? Over/Under is 60, he’s at 9 now.

12. Michigan – Gave up a buck fifty on the ground to Northern Illinois. I know Wolfe is good, but where were the LBs? A good win, but not a dominant win.

13. Purdue – DNP

14. Ohio State – So you beat a rebuilding MAC team 34-14. Zwick looked better than he ever has. The nations supposed best “D” allowed 14 to Miami of Ohio? I am not convinced at all that this team can come close to keeping pace with Texas next week.

15. Oklahoma – I quote myself: “One of the most overrated teams in the field. With the law firm QBs gone (Heupel, Hibl, and White), who will lead this team? Hmmm… That about sums it up doesn’t it? Welcome to the second tier OU fans, you have actually been here for a year.

16. LSU – DNP

17. Arizona State – Big win over perennial doormat Temple. This offense is going to be tough to stop. They have an outside shot at USC if they are hot.

18. Georgia Tech – Everything clicked as they beat an Auburn defense that was the real deal. Congrats. Get ready for Va. Tech in three weeks.

19. Fresno State – DNP

20. Clemson – Got away with a win over a better opponent with a worse coach. They played tough though. Whitehurst looks good.

21. Texas A&M – Lost to a worse team with a better coach. This team will only be as good as Franchione is creative and intelligent. I still pick them to upset OU though and finish second in the Big 12 South.

22. Colorado – Strong comeback against your rival. A good win for a club that makes a run for the Big 12 North title, which means 5th beast in their conference.

23. Boston College – Solid win against a team who is living on its past. Beck looked good at QB with 320+, but how will that translate in the new ACC?

24. Virginia – Lots of mistakes in a sloppy win against a weak WMU team. This won’t hold up much longer, if they don’t get straightened out.

25. TCU – Best upset so far, and maybe all year. The Horned Frogs deserve some respect, but all the press goes to OU for being so much worse than everyone thought. Isn’t that how it always goes?


*** Why I am so smart…
1. My thoughts on OU: “One of the most overrated teams in the field. With the law firm QBs gone (Heupel, Hibl, and White), who will lead this team?”

2. My thoughts on Boise State: “A tough opener at Georgia may undo the BCS hopes for this offensive powerhouse that can’t seem to lose at home.”

3. My thoughts on Auburn: “This team lost like 52 guys to the NFL, but are still talented and still deep. But they need some young guys to step up to avoid a let-down season.”

4. My thoughts on Tennessee: “UT has serious depth and strength on the line of scrimmage, but a grueling SEC schedule and a commitment to two starting QBs may be their undoing.”

5. My thoughts on Iowa: They really are good enough to be ranked third.

6. My thoughts on Adrian Peterson and the Heisman race: Who isn’t looking run at this point? Keshon Jones (That is for you Kami.) is an able backup but never makes the big play like AP does. Pray the young kid stays healthy.


*** Why I am an absolute moron…
1. I trusted in Coach Fran at A&M: “Returning 20 starters, especially Reggie McNeal at QB, the Aggies should enter their last two games undefeated, and one of those is at home.”

2. My thoughts on Georgia: “Sure the team is deep, but losing that much talent has to take a toll in the SEC. Sorry Bulldog fans, maybe in Shockley’s Sr. season.”

3. My belittling of Georgia Tech – “This team is talented enough to compete with the elite, but that didn’t mean they should have scheduled Auburn and Georgia out of conference.”

4. My leaving Georgia QB, Shockley off of my Heisman watch list.

5. My apparent anti-all-things-from-the-state-of-Georgia bias. Who knew?

Question of the Day

Please answer yesterday's question of the day. It actually is important for future discourse here at the High Cheese. Yepper--always thinking ahead.

Anyway, an easy one today in honor of the holiday weekend.:

At a cookout, what is your go to item?

1. Hot Dog?
2. Hamburger?
3. Sausage?
4. Potato Salad?

You Know What They Need?

A swift kick in the sweet spot.

Those are free too...

Turds.

Question of the Day

Alright, everybody, we're choosing up sides: Busters or Breakers? Which team are you on?

What I need is:

1. A team choice
2. A jersey number (no two players on the same team can have the same number)
3. A name for the back of your jersey (doesn't have to be your real name)

Separation Anxiety

So the High Cheese is just a little tired of spam with non-sensical subject lines. I mean, it's one thing to spam with a reasonably communicable subject line--"Look at this hot stock!" or "Have you tried viagra?". At least then, you are being honest with the consumer. But enough with the spam subjects like: "RE: Having fishbone paste dream logjam"--what in the world does that even mean? Every guess is that it means something very awful...and they are selling is of course, a rolex--it's probably not real. Oh well...

Good morning, quesolitos.

So the most incredible woman in the universe and I have been having a few issues with the former-most-faithful-hound-in-the-universe, Titus. Titus is good, wanty but good. But lately everytime we leave, even if we have taken him out, the little runt grinds one out on the kitchen floor. Honestly, it could be worse, like on the carpet, but this is simply too much to take. A mistake every now and then is okay, but this is personal.

So we call the vet. She says that he has separation anxiety. Really. Apparently, she says we leave him too often for long periods of time (vacations, etc., not just daily work and stuff). This is a low blow as the vet is also the boarding kennel we use. She was offsides, but what are you going to do, she knows our travel schedule this summer. Jerk.

Anyway, her idea is to give him lots of "special attention, special treats, and special toys" to let him know how much he means to us. And slowly but surely crate train him so that we can leave him in a crate during the day and he won't go on the kitchen floor.

You probably got there before me, but almost immediately I turned to my wife and asked her if I started crapping on the floor everyday would she give me special attention, special treats, and special toys. She said no. Maybe I need to develop separation anxiety. Actually she said she would if my doctor prescribed them for the problem. I can't see the whole thing ending that way, so she said, "no."

Oh well, off to shower my dog with love.

Spammers and a Small Format Change

Due to blog spam (here's a new crew of people going straight to hell), I had to add word verification for each post. You will see it when you reply. Thanks for your cooperation.

Management

Vanilla Ice wanted me to ask you guys and gals:

If you could have any stage name at all, what would it be?

P.S. Thanks Dave for the question suggestion.

Kristen Was Holding Out!

Good morning...High Cheese here. Everyone take their seats, let's get the board meeting started.

Throw me a frickin' bone here people. I can't know everything. I am not psychotic--I don't have ESPN. Okay. I can't see the future, or the past I never knew about. If I were I would have picked up on this and communicated it to the rest of yous, but as it is, I am just finding out now. I have not the opportunity of pride or great joy, instead it is shame and personal regret.

Everyone, the truth of the matter is, last night at about 11:30pm, the most incredible woman in the universe and I are sitting on the tater's couch talking after the tater and I finished a mean jam session. Anyway...

The tater looks over and says, "Have you seen Kristen's blog?" He has that look...that look that says, I know you haven't seen it, and I am way ahead of you. It isn't a mean look, but it is a look.

Bested by both his knowledge and his look, unable to mask my own look of crap! he knows more than me about my own friends. I shot back, "Kristen has a blog?!" I was simultaneously excited and bewildered. No mention of it to me. Why hadn't she mentioned it?

So I went there, and it is pretty solid. It needs an update, but deserves a frequent readership. I give her blog my highest and strongest recommendations.

And she got a boat.

Note: She even mentions "her other blog" in her blog, so what gives?!! Kristen, throw me a bone here? Little help? Where is it?

We love you, and only want to make you happy. Story of my life.

Question of the Day

What is your favorite sport and who is your favorite team in that sport?

Deep Conversations and Superlatives in Motion

Greetings avid readers! Welcome to another edition of the chin music (baseball term)--the hardest working blog in cyber space. Well, honestly, I doubt that is really true, but I work kinda hard...sometimes. Okay, so it's pretty easy to keep this up, but I mean well.

So yesterday I am on the phone with my cousin, the s.l.a.b., and we are having a pretty deep discussion (how did Eric LaSalle go from being Darrell in Coming to America to being a Dr. on ER?), when I see it. It is not everyday that you get to see something so extreme--truly extreme; not just extreme in the sense that it happened on a skateboard, snowboard, surfboard, or motorcycle--that you realize the moment that you see it that you are watching a superlative.

For those of you saying, I have heard that word, superlative, let me remind you. The superlative is the adjective taken to its most extensive conclusion. Between the two is the comparative. An example would be: adjective - big; comparative - bigger; superlative - biggest.

Anyway, as I said, you don't always see a superlative in real action. Well, I am on the phone with my cousin and out of my windo I watch as the absolutely drunkest man I have ever seen emerges from a liquor store. Yeah I know, the liquor store...but that can be excused, because he ain't the only one seeking out just a little more of the hair of the dog what bit him. Nevertheless, he was a man in his mid forties (probably thirties but tore up too bad for me to tell). He was so red in the face, so ready to vomit, obviously struggling with an alcohol poisoning induced fever, and more than obviously none too steady on his pegs. He slowly and so painfully sauntered across the street in front of my car, wincing as he turned his neck to look at me. In his glazed eyes...regret. He hurt all over but was trying to numb it. He was the drunkest man I have ever encountered.

I had to stop the conversation with my cousin so that I could comment on it. When I think of drunkenness, this man is what I will see as a mental image from now on. Life can be hard.

Hope that cheers you up.